Bike-in-a-box blog

I present for your consideration: the FireBob

2010-05-25T18:55:00.005+01:00

It's true: undressed is sexier.

What's going on? Where's the chrome? Where's the pimp? Well, it's at the back of the garage, waiting to be put back on if the urge ever takes me. You know, the next time it rains. In 15 minutes, in other words.

Until then, I'm liking the bobber look. Liking it a lot. It's not a full bob - I haven't (yet) chopped off the frame behind the rear shock mounts, but even with the slightly protruding tail it's still a big change from the dressed look.

There actually aren't that many changes, it's mostly removal: front and rear mudguards, the crash bars, screen, side panels. The changes are: 4.5" headlight - the electrics very nearly fit inside it - smaller indicators front and rear (the rears mounted into the holes on the back of the frame proper that used to secure the mudguard and rear luggage rack), straight bars, a custom seat in place of the stock one, and a bullet stop/tail light on the far side, mounted on a bracket off the top shock mount. The battery is simply covered over with a 4-thickness layer of black plastic fabric. Usefully, there's a black plastic inner-guard running up from the swing arm mount to just behind the shock mounts, which I've kept on - no fettling required.

The only real design decision was to mount the plate up behind the seat as a legal UK plate looks unpleasantly large placed on the traditional bobber position, on the side of one of the shocks. Putting it up there also helps to blend in the trailing frame behind the shocks.

There's only a few bits of custom work, just brackets to hold the plate and the stop/tail light in place.

Further bobbing options are: reduce the instrumentation to just the speedo; chop the exhausts; chop off the frame behind the shock mounts. Two of those are non-reversible, so I'll leave them for a rainy day. Well, a rainy day followed by a sunny one.

The bob went remarkably smoothly. The wiring for the indicators took the most time. The rest of it was just bolt-off, bolt-on. There was an oops moment when it revved its nuts off when I started it up, but some adjusting of the accelerator cable connectors sorted that.

How does it ride? It rides like it looks: like half a bike. There's not that much weight taken off, but - particularly in comparison to my 250 Lifan - it feels so light and nimble that it's Grin Factor 7, Mr Sulu. The only point of issue is the straight bars, which are a £5 worth of 745mm x 22mm 16 gauge aluminium. With the stock bars on, and rotated backwards and down, the ride was amazing. With the straight bars, there's more of a lean-over-the-tank style, which I'm not sure I like yet. The bars themselves feel bizarre, like they're pointing forwards, and they may be too much style-over-substance to keep. I'll give them another few rides, but might either have to bend them back, or splash out on some pre-bent "drag" bars.

Well, it's not like I'm ever going to be done, is it?

Screen if you want to go faster

2010-05-09T13:40:00.004+01:00

You could build an empire on perspex and patience.

I may have mentioned that the wind blast on the Lifan was something fierce, so a screen was the first thing on the agenda. As usual, I ~~cheaped out~~ went for the hand-crafted option, eBayed some 500mm x 500mm perspex and got busy with the jigsaw and heat gun.

Attaching it to the bike is a touch of pure decadence: about 2/3 of a genuine screen fitting kit designed for the Jinlun JL125-11. This comes with a cryptic selection of brackets, bars, bolts and rubber widgets- there may even be grommets - and of course no instructions, so my utilisation here of it is somewhat experimental.

The screen feels secure and does a great job at keeping the wind off, making an open face helmet a practical choice again. Huzzah! That said, the wind noise does still get harsh above an indicated 50mph, so ear plugs are de rigueur.

Which reminds me, something had been bothering me about the Lifan. The engine is great, with smooth and almost linear acceleration up to around an indicated 55mph or so, then it starts the long haul up to... well, I don't know, I haven't had a chance to wind it up on a straight level road. Despite any claims to the contrary, I doubt it'll see much of the high side of 70mph, but then again, that's the legal limit, isn't it?

But for all the better acceleration, it didn't appear to be going as fast as it should, based on the indicated speed on the single tank-mounted dial. This was a puzzle until today when I took a trip past the local speed-nag sign, which informed me much to my surprise that the Lifan speedo is bang on accurate. All vehicles I've ever had have read 5-10% over, the Firebird included. So the Lifan isn't slow, it's just not lying its little chromed plastic socks about how fast it's going. I'm looking at you, Firebird. Yes, hang your bars in shame.

The Lifan's not a bike that lends itself to hurry though. "What's your rush?" it seems to ask, "Isn't it better being where you are now rather than where you're going?" I think it makes a very salient point.

So, I'm warming to the Lifan. The riding position now feels more natural and secure - although holding the clutch while doing a u-turn, with the long, forward bars turned away, remains something of a art. I guess you grow to love the bike that you ride.

That said, I forgot the kids' ice cream at the shop, so I feel a trip back there is required. Absolutely necessary, in fact. Firebird, I choose you!

[Update]

Aaaahahahaha! Forget everything I just wrote, it's Firebird for the win. What a laugh. So much easier to ride, it's just ridiculous.

The Lifan is a good capable bike, don't get me wrong, but it's rather sombre. I feel like the American Chopper blokes look when they take a new bike for a ride, all po faced and serious. The Firebird is far more grin inducing, and isn't that what it's all about?

Ask not how many bikes you need

2010-05-02T21:30:00.006+01:00

Ask how big a garage you need to store them.

For 10 points, which lying liar lied these lies?

I really don't need a bigger bike for my commute or pleasure jaunts, so unless I plan some touring in this year, I'll be sticking with my 'Firebird'.

Well, that lasted all of a week. My head was turned by the jaunty number pictured above, a Lifan LF250-B. For all intents and purposes, it is a Yamaha Virago XV250. I suspect that Lifan bought the jigs when Yamaha stopped making the Virago, and just started churning them out themselves. It needed a bit of minor maintenance to correct some neglect - it had been stored outside, and the right side of it had suffered a little from the weather - but it's substantially sound, and feels well made.

First order of business was an oil change, to Halford's 5W-40 synthetic motorcycle oil. The oil in it was quite emulsified (creamy looking) which is consistent with it being used for short runs, as the previous owner admitted glumly - we both need longer commutes to work - maybe we should swap jobs? I got it home OK, but when testing the rear brake light sensor (which didn't work), I snapped the rear brake cable, which was rusted and clogged up with crud. Ah well. ChineseMotorcyclePartsOnline got me a next-day replacement, and the sensor switch just needed a strip and clean. The chain and engine got a good scrub down with Gunk engine cleaner; the amount of road crud under the front sprocket cover was unbelievable: I think I hit a layer with dinosaur fossils in it.

Job's a good 'un now though, and the Firebird got another oil change while I was at it, at 4400km. That makes... um... lots. I've lost count, but it's more frequent than every 1000km, that's for darn sure.

Back to the ~~Virago~~ Lifan. The previous owner slapped those YAMAHA stickies on the tank - did a good job of it too, they were very convincing, but the first thing I did after taking this picture was to strip them off. Who wants to be seen riding one of those madly overpriced Japanese bikes?

On the plus side, it's got a splendid 250 v-twin engine, smooth, torquey, and surprisingly quiet. It feels like a much more grown up bike. However, the riding position is very different to the Firebird - lower, with feet forward controls, and a bigger reach to the bars. The Firebird is comfier and far easier to ride, which - to be honest - makes it more fun. It's just so light - in weight, handling, gearshift and clutch - that it feels like a pushbike in comparison to the Lifan. My appreciation for the Firebird just grows with experience.

Of course, that hasn't stopped me stripping it for parts. The pimp panniers and tool roll went straight on to the Lifan, and the Firebird got its old cheap fabric panniers back. Those keeping score will also note that the Firebird has its stock seat and rear rack back as well. Those with x-ray vision will have spotted that I've also put the stock air box back in as well in place of the cone filter. This is to quieten the bike down a bit: it sounded a bit hooligan next to the more refined Lifan.

Now, I'm not done with the Firebird yet. I'll be keeping it for some time, for a couple of reasons.

The first is that I plan to bob it. Look, it's a proper Plan, with bullet points and all.

Remove the add ons: screen, spotslights, front and rear crash bars.
Start stripping the stock parts: remove or shorten the front mudguard, remove the seat and rear rack.
Replace the handlebars with lower, shorter ones.
Cut off half the rear mudguard, and mount it on the swing-arm.
Cut off the frame behind the rear shock mounts
Remove the side panels, mount the battery lower down, cut the horizontal frame members at the rear vertical member, and angle them down to make room for a lower solo seat.
Replace the headlight with a smaller one.
Shorten the front indicators. Shorten the rears and remount them near the shock mounts.
Put the rear light and license plate on the side of the bike.

The goal is to move towards this look (but with flat bars):

Unfortunately, there's a spanner in the works. Don't tell her I called her that though.

Yes, that's barely legal hot wife-on-bike action! Turns out she's bike-curious, so I've been taking her for secret dates on the local industrial estate, so she can practice wrapping her thighs around a throbbing powerhouse. Then I let her have a go on the Firebird.

And that's a wrap

2010-04-04T17:07:00.003+01:00

After the cut-a-cat adventure, the exhausts were looking a little tatty. With hindsight, there are two much better methods of de-catting them:

1) A single cut near the end of the cat bulge.
2) Just buy a set of nice shiny chromed and cat-free exhausts, £60 delivered for the pair.

I sprayed my pipes with high temperature silver paint, but it didn't really match the rest of the bike. Black would have been a better choice, but I went another way.

Something that's making a faddy comeback at the moment is exhaust wrap. It's basically a fibreglass tea-cosy for the exhaust. The techno-babble is that it keeps the temperature of the gasses up inside the exhaust which helps them flow through faster. That's as maybe, but it also covers up sloppy weld jobs, and makes the exhaust look a little fatter.

I did some rocket science that indicated I'd need 5 metres to cover around 60cm of exhaust. That seems like a lot, but it's all about pi. Mmmm, pi. For once, I got my reckoning right, and 10m just did both exhausts, nicely secured with stainless steel tie wraps.

Does it make any difference to the performance? Not so as you'd notice, but that's not why it's there, is it? The main effect is to soak up water, WD-40, ACF-50, road dirt and such, and steam or burn it off in huge clouds every time you stop. Larks!

Easter weekend seemed like a good time for a spring clean. The bike was looking pretty grubby after winter riding, and there was actually some road grit layered on it - we're not having that. "Gunk" engine cleaner is just the ticket for de-grubbing, and I spent a happy hour brushing the best part of a litre of it into all the crevices of the bike, including a thorough soaking of the chain, which was in dire need of a clean. A good wash down, and the sparklies were restored, then treated to a good coat of ACF-50 to keep them that way.

It was also time for some basic maintenance; a chain tension and rear brake adjustment, inspection of all the nuts and bolts, and I bled the front brake, which was starting to feel a little spongy. The year-old fluid was already looking fairly mucky, so it was easy to see when the clean stuff came through from the master cylinder.

The other modification I made recently was to remove a few things from the bike, namely the L plates. Huzzah! I am now a Big Boy (Jnr). I really don't need a bigger bike for my commute or pleasure jaunts, so unless I plan some touring in this year, I'll be sticking with my 'Firebird'.

I didn't have any lessons, I just went for it. £31 for the theory, £15 for the Mod 1 offroad, £75 for the Mod 2 on road, twice, as I failed the first one (darn unmarked crossroads), works out well compared to the cost of training, or of re-sitting my CBT which would have been up at the end of April. The DSA has recently acknowledged the existence of our bikes, and has classed them as A2, i.e. proper bikes capable of 100kph, so there's nothing stopping you from sitting your test on your Firebird, waiting 2 years, then buying a Hayabusa. Excelsior!

Ride In Peace, chumrade

2010-03-25T21:01:00.004Z

Last summer, my workmate Andy and I went on a bike tour of Scotland together on our plucky little 125s. A brilliant time was had. Laughs, spills, and anyone complaining got to be Charley (Boorman) for the day.

Like myself, Andy was planning to sit his test and move up to a Big Boy bike this spring, either a Suzuki Bandit or CBR600. He took a week off, and I was looking forward to telling him that I'd passed my theory and Mod 1 when he came back.

Last week, Andy's mother called him in sick after his holiday. We assumed he'd just got a bad dose of the cold that was going around. After a week with no news, we were shocked to hear that he had been taken into hospital, and that he had cystic fibrosis.

We found it hard to believe; cystic fibrosis is a chronic hereditary condition for which there is no cure, and which is usually debilitating and eventually fatal. Andy always seemed so healthy, and had never mentioned it to anyone outside his family, never complained about it or made an issue of it, not once.

With treatment and good luck, people of Andy's age with cystic fibrosis can live on into their 30s or later.

Andy was not lucky. He died on Tuesday night aged 26.

Andy will be sadly missed by all who knew him. I will remember him fondly as a gentleman, and the best of bike buddies.

Let there be... different light

2010-02-21T22:02:00.005Z

We need to talk. Times are tough, and I have to let you go.

The stock rear light cluster, I mean. Nice enough, but I think it looks out of place with the smaller seat.

I eBayed a smaller chromed light, and tonight I bodged it on. Now, normally I'd go in with the angle grinder, but the kiddies were in bed, so I had to do it on the shush. Also, there may be an element of learning involved here, in that I decided not to cut the stock light cluster mount to bits - yet. It also mounts the indicators and number plate, so it'll need some thinking through.

The temporary solution was to put a bit of 20mm x 20mm x 2mm aluminium angle across the two mounts for the stock light cluster, and hang the new light underneath. It doesn't look ideal, but it'll do for now. I can always go back and screw it up later.

Anyway, cut to the chase, here's the new light in situ:

I'll leave it until next weekend, then if I'm still enamoured of it, I'll likely lop the top off of the mount, run a bar across from the indicator bolts, and mount the rear light on top. Or not, as the whim takes me.

Something to watch out for is that The Man requires rear reflectors (stuck to my panniers, huzzah), and also a number plate light. The stock cluster has a clear patch underneath that ostensibly lets some light down onto the plate, but I'll have to add another light to do this. LED, naturally. eBay, ho!

[Update]

Ho'd!

Winner!

Warp core offline: proceed on emergency impulse power

2010-02-07T16:29:00.004Z

Prepare to jettison warp engines and disengage by sublight evasion.

Another day, another adventure. Sunday beckoned, flouting her tempting charms at me, and off I went for a jaunt. Just a few miles, off to try and find the missus (farming, as she has a wont to do), then on to le supermarché pour la grub et les stúff.

There were a few big bumps in the road on the way, courtesy of emergency repairs to the winter potholes - which I'm sure the Cooncil intends to sort out properly later - but I didn't think anything of them. See as I cunningly build an alibi for myself for what is about to occur...

Exiting the car park and hitting a little hill, the bike suddenly faded and spluttered. Oh dear. This again - it happened on the Lang Way Roond trip as well, on the Lang Way Hame, due to the main jet needle being unsecured and riding way too high (mea culpa).

A quick haul onto the pavement, and the diagnosis began. The last thing I'd done before going out was to grab my trusty multitool(*), and damn glad I was to have it.

The plug was seriously fouled. Hmmm, that's familiar. I immediately suspected the needle again, but decided to clean the plug and lean the idle mixture out first to see if that sorted it. Nope, although I did get another 1/4 mile closer to home, nursing the bike along in gaps in the traffic.

At the next spluttering expiration, I parked up and unscrewed the throttle assembly on top of the carb to check the needle. Unfortunately, it was fine, properly secured under the clip and spring. Hmm, it did seem like a jetting problem, but not the needle this time. If the main jet was clogged, surely it would run lean, not rich?

Maybe the engine was just cooked? I gave it some time to cool down, with the plug out, cleaned everything up again, reset the idle mixture to 2 turns out, and had another go at getting home.

Bizarrely, the bike ran fine at idle and up to about 1/8th throttle, but on 1/4 throttle it just choked and faltered. I was quite impressed that it managed to get up to 30, nearly 40 downhill, on 1/8th throttle, and I managed to route through some industrial estates rather than holding up traffic on the big roads.

Eventually, I nursed it into my work car park, but with a big hill between me and home, Something Must Be Done. I was swithering between admitting defeat and calling my rescue service, or even shoving the bike into the work foyer overnight, but manned up and went for the carb strip. This is perfectly possible at roadside with pliers and a small Phillips bit, just take care not to lose any screw or nuts.

With it all apart, the cause was suddenly and glaringly obvious:

[Dramatisation]

Yup, the main jet had actually fallen off and was lying in the float bowl. That explained the behaviour fully - with no jet in the tube, as soon as the needle was raised, fuel was flooding up into the carb.

Huh, typical Chinese quality control! By which I mean that the stock 90 jet was fitted just fine, but some chump must not have tightened up the 95 jet that I - I mean, he or she - replaced it with.

Ah well, adventure over. With the jet secured properly, the bike immediately ran fine again.

The lesson here is that these bikes really are idiot proof, if the idiot can just stop mucking around with them.

So, no more fiddling, I promise. Well, I mean after I try the 100 and 105 jets again...

(*) Should Plod ever argues the toss with you about carring a multitool with a knife blade, please do remember this phrase: folding pocket knife with a cutting edge not exceeding 75mm/3", and I'll be having it back with an apology after I speak to the duty solicitor.

And the performance is... is.... iiiiiiiis...

2010-02-04T22:30:00.002Z

But first, some more ẁorship at the temple of LED.

The lower spots (£15 delivered!) came with a nice LED ring but 55W halogen foglight main bulbs. There was no way I was going to traumatise my poor little dynamo and battery by wiring in another 110W of load, but fortunately there are LED equivalents for the H3 type bulbs.

As you can see, they're tecno-tastic. It's like living in a bright bluish-white Futureworld. The moment there's a LED equivalent of the Xenon BA20D headlight bulb, I'll be on it like Angelina Jolie on an African orphanage.

But that's not why we're here, is it? It's to find out if de-catting the bike made any difference to the performance. Well, did it? Did it? Wait - why am I asking you? I'm the one who knows.

The glaciers withdrew briefly today, and I went for a lunchtime drag along the handy local dual carriageway. Up the on-ramp, feeling good, 30mph, 40, and an indicated 50 as I hit the main carriageway. Throttle pegged, here comes 55, and the 60-ish that's the usual top end. But wait - what's this? Do we see 65? We do! Do we see 70? Near as dammit, we do, in 5th and a fraction over 10,000 RPM. That's more like a real 65, but it's comfortably faster than the bike has ever shown on the flat, enough to keep up with the traffic and safely overtake Micra Man.

So we're clear, that's the purpose of getting that little bit of extra performance. It's not about burning rubber on the shopping trip, it's about the difference between holding up and keeping up with cars on open roads. Slower isn't safer if it means you're being tailgated by Astra Man.

For those keeping score, that's with a 17 tooth front sprocket, stock CDI, aftermarket coil and HT lead, a K&N stylee filter, 95 main jet and a DR8EIX plug (DR9EIX is a better for extended high RPM). Now that the engine can exhale, I'll re-try the 100 and 105 jets to see if the needle can go into the Forbidden Zone past 70.

So, was chopping the cats worth it? I'd say yes, but only because I did it on the cheap and enjoyed the process. If you had to pay for 2 aftermarket exhausts - assuming that you could find ones that were definitely cat-free - would it really be worth spending 1/5th or more of the price of the bike to get another 3 or 4 mph?

That's up to you to decide, gentle reader. I can only write my own tale. What's yours?

Operation Convert Bike To Sparks: success!

2010-01-31T20:25:00.012Z

Sacrifice to the Gods of Entropy and they may eat you last.

Things that I have learned:

1.5mm mild steel is arc weldable, but not necessarily by me.
Sometimes, close enough isn't good enough.
There's nothing you can damage with an arc welder that can't be fixed with an angle grinder, or vice versa.

My first attempt at welding in a section of pipe wasn't a total success. I used 38mm OD 1.5mm mild steel (35mm ID), which is at the lower end of what's arc weldable. Cut to the chase, I got it butchered together, but made a serious snafu: once it was all welded up, the exhaust plain didn't fit, no matter much much I swore, pleaded, or tried to negotiate with it.

I did a fair bit of offering up, then removing, tacking and re-offering but made one fatal error - I didn't tighten up the manifold nuts when offering the exhaust up. Consider that a few degrees of difference at the manifold means an inch or so at the tail joint. One I had it all welded solid, I could choose between a tight seal at the manifold and a clear 1" gap at the tail, or have the exhaust bolted on but spitting from the manifold.

In the event, I called a Mulligan, and decided to do it over. Since I'd burned through so much of the 1.5mm tube, I decided to go bigger. 2mm would likely be OK, but I wanted to be sure and went to 3.2mm, with an OD of 42.4mm = ID of 36mm. This was likely too big; an ID of 33 or 34mm would be a snugger fit, but you can always narrow wide pipe down.

First things first. This time, I'd be doing some serious welding with the exhaust on the bike, so the tank and battery had to be removed and buried 6' deep (well, balanced on top of the bins out the back, anyway):

Then I ground off the 1.5mm pipe section from the left hand pipe. As always, it took longer than I'd expected, and there must have been a small earthquake or similar, as I... uh... ground almost all the way through at one point. Mind Control Lasers, maybe.

Aaaaanyway. Remember the adage: welding can fix anything that an angle grinder messes up, and t'other way around too. A bit of 1.5mm patching over it covered up the evil. Let's never speak of it again.

I cut the the 3mm pipe to 1" longer than the removed section of cat-pipe. Another mistake I'd made the first time round was to make the replacement pipe too long. This meant that it went too far up the curve of the pipe on both ends, which contributed to screwing up the angles. See, I do learn, eventually.

Then each end of the pipe needed notches cut so that I could narrow it in. I'd recommend hacksawing these, rather than grinding them out, since the narrower they are, the easier it'll be to make them gas tight later:

Another lesson learned - this time I bolted the downpipe on solidly before even thinking about fitting the pipe. Note the car jack holding the lower section up at approximately the right height:

Then the ends of pipe section could be gradually narrowed down and offered up until it was fairly tight over both ends. I had to remove the whole assembly to bang it down tight. That's where your Anvil Shaped Object comes in handy. You do have an Anvil Shaped Object, right?

Once the new pipe was as tight as I could get it around the original exhaust, it all went back on again, and both ends of the exhaust were solidly attached. For those playing along at home: solidly attach both ends.

Then and only then did I weld up the joints. Rather than just tacking, I manned up and welded as much as I could manage in place. (Pro tip: remove the brake pedal on the right side to get more access to the bottom weld).

Only when I'd gone as far round the pipe as I could manage did I remove it. The unwelded parts of the pipe ends needed banging down again to get as tight a fit as possible. And the first thing I did then was to put it back on and check that it still fitted. See? Learning! See?

With everything seemingly OK, I removed the exhaust again and finally finished the welding. In my pre-emptive defence, it's a fiddly job, as you have to move the rod in 3 axes: rotate around the pipe, oscillate up and down to cover the joint, and move the rod in as it melts down. Very zen. Then there's the 8 notches in each end, 32 in all, that need sealed up. About 65 amps with a 2mm rod, for those taking notes.

Not the nicest welds in the world, but no, since you ask, I'm not planning on giving up my day job:

Fast forward, the 2nd exhaust went the same way, and a lot faster, since it was just a production line now. The bike fired up fine, this time with the exhausts seated properly. I found a few pinhole leaks, but they were quickly welded over, and some grinding neatened the welds up some:

...although they still need filing, filling and sanding before I paint over them, and I won't finalise that until I get a chance to take the bike out for a run. As usual for this winter, there's a localised Fimbulwinter on the stretch of road right outside my house. Hopefully my de-catted Penguin Murderatron will contribute to this alleged global warming which we could really do with round about now.

Speaking of which, here's one of the offending, offensive cats, the one that I didn't try and drill though:

You might think it wouldn't be hard to drill right through that. Well, think it all you like. It's harder than a scrap-yard dog with a flick knife.

Well, that's us 90% done. If I was doing it again, I'd try and get some 33 or 34mm ID 2mm pipe. Also, I wouldn't do it at all.

But since it's done, all that remains is a road test to see if I've helped, harmed or not done a damn thing to the performance. Nobody laugh; it could have helped it breathe. You'll see. You'll all see.

Catalytic cutting catastrophe

2010-01-17T13:32:00.009Z

But first, Previously On Bike-in-a-box-blog.

Measure twice, cut once, goes the mantra. Well, in an uncharacteristic display of common sense, I only drilled once before measuring the choke assembly.

The small metal widget in the top right is the actual choke actuator, which rotates to operate the choke inside the carb. Note the shiny new hole drilled in it, where I was going to attach a choke cable. Note also that with the plastic choke lever down (i.e. choke off), the actuator is raised. Annoyingly, it's sprung so that without being held up there in the off position, it would spring down and turn the choke being fully on. This is pretty shoddy design to begin with - if the choke assembly fails for any reason, the choke will come on full. Not good. Note that this is on a Japanese Mikuni carb emulating the behaviour of the Japanese designed CG125: I don't think a Chinese design would be as fail-fragile.

The show stopper is that the actuator needs to be pulled up in order to turn the choke off. However, all sane choke knobs are pulled up to turn the choke on. I'd have to reverse the direction, which could be done by attaching the cable to the plastic choke lever instead. However, the lever isn't sprung, and would require the choke cable to not only pull it up, but to positively push it back down again, which wasn't going to happen.

I tried fettling it various ways but couldn't find an arrangement that would operate the actuator correctly and reliably (i.e. stop the choke from springing on), so I declared it a draw and shelved the idea.

Decatalysing, Round One

Guru Forchetto from defunct TheChineseBikeForum always held that the cheap basic catalytic converters fitted to our bikes were one of the primary causes of the drop in torque and power from their original configuration. Arguments about exhaust baffles and back pressure and two exhausts versus one aside, it's undeniable that these engines were not designed with cats in mind, so it's worth a try. The polar bears can just deal with it. What have they done for me lately?

So I've had a plan for some time to de-cat my bike, and this weekend saw it swing, saw and weld into action. This may turn out to be a mini series in its own right.

First, where and how to cut? From doing a bit of wikiing I'd hoped that the cat would be a relatively fragile ceramic, that I'd be able to drill, chisel or just smash to pieces by going in at one end.

So I decided to make a straight cut just under the cat bulge. First, I drew a couple of lines across the cut so that I could match up the orientation again later - this turned out to be pointless because the amount of handling required quickly erased them, but not a disaster as it's easy enough to offer the pieces back up again and re-mark them prior to welding.

A hacksaw went through quite easily, and I was pleased to find that the mild steel is a good 2mm thick, and thus OK to arc-weld back together again.

It turns out that inside the pipe there's an inner pipe of slightly smaller diameter. I'm not sure what the purpose of this is; probably some sort of circulatory magic gubbins. In the event, I inadvertently lopped off an inch or so of it, which I just discarded rather than trying to weld it back on.

This exposed the end of the cat bulge and the cat lurking inside. It starts 3/4" or so inside the bulge, and looks like... well, I'll take a picture first next time. It's a honeycomb structure that looks to be stainless steel, but very fragile, so in I went with a 20mm wood-hole cutting drill bit, expecting it to shred fairly easily.

Hmm. Er. Mmmm. Nope.

The honeycomb immediately flattened and toughened up and the bit was just polishing it. OK, switch to an 8mm HSS metal bit. That went in 1" or so, and that's all she wrote. I drilled a few such holes, but they weren't anywhere near close to going right through the cat. Pressing hard resulted in another 1/8" penetration and a glowing red bit tip. Oh my.

Next up was a curved chisel, which I whacked into the cat around the edges to see if I could detach it from the pipe walls and just pull it out. It went in 2" or so, and I managed to deform the cat a fair bit and pull some small lumps out with pliers before the chisel, well, snapped clean off while I was wiggling it around.

OK, rethink. If I couldn't get it out from the end, what if I cut the cat bulge in half in the middle? I might be able to chisel the half-cat out from either end and pull them out. So in with the hacksaw, which went through the pipe wall, hit the cat and... that's all she wrote (again). I just couldn't get through it.

After some more bashing, whacking, stabbing and hammering, I had to acknowledge that all I was doing was choking up the cat, and called it a night before I made things worse. These things are tough:

Note the snapped off chisel at the bottom!

That left me with a butchered cat, and a half-cut pipe. I wanted to get the bike back the road, so decided to just weld it all back up, and source some pipe to replace the whole cat bulge with, rather than trying to remove the cat and retain the pipe.

My welding is... well, weld is as weld does. If it holds, it's a good 'un.

Not the best weld in the world, but it's been a while since I did one. That's using a 1.6mm rod and about 50 amps; I didn't want to blow right through the steel. Actually though, I reckon it could stand a 2mm rod and 60+ amps, which I'll use when I replace the pipe.

Getting the main weld right was a bit of a fuss. Putting the pieces back on the bike and marking the join was simple enough, but I'd cut too close to the bulge, and hadn't enough straight pipe on the cat side to get a clamp on the pieces. In the event, I had to hold the pieces together while tacking them, sans face shield, and just wearing clear goggles to protect from weld splatter.

I got it eventually though, and butchered my way around the join, brushing and grinding it down and going around a few times to try and get it solid - I should have switched to 2mm sticks, really.

Well, good enough. It'll only have to hold until I get the pipe.

I'm not even going to paint over it, since I'll just be cutting and re-doing it soon anyway.

Despite the choked up cat, the bike started and ran fine. The weld is gas tight, and the exhaust didn't drop off, so job done.

I'll get some pipe with an ID that matches the OD of the main pipe, so that I can sleeve it over it (much like the cat bulge) rather than trying to weld a piece inline; that's unnecessarily tricky. Having it sleeved will also make it easier to keep it together while I tack it and offer it up.

Well, not a success, but not a disaster either, and I did achieve my real objective: Welding Stuff.

Welding Stuff is all that separates us from the animals. That, and blogging.

Bend like the reed, don't break like the oak.

2009-12-10T14:06:00.003Z

In other words - I give up. The hot rubber smell is still present, but I can't determine a cause. The bike is running absolutely fine, with no hint of clutch slip, and I can't think of any other cause.

So we'll shove it on the To Do list, along with the stripped sump threads, for the first engine rebuild. While we're making that list, the exhaust is smelling slightly oily, so a piston ring replacement followed by a Mototune break-in is on there as well. I'm quite taken with the idea of a hard initial run-in to seal piston rings, and am regretting running my bike in so gently.

All that said, it is running great - I'm really just looking for excuses to strip the engine.

While I await the joyous day, it's back to more fiddling with lights.

The speedo bulb developed an intermittent fault which steadily got worse until it gave up altogether. Obviously, my legal team leapt into action and served a writ of habeus judice under the Statutory European Human Consumer Rights Act, demanding a replacement of the entire bike, £50,000 in inconvenience and legal costs, and a hundred beelyon dollars in punitive damages.

While I wait for that to play out in Brussels, I popped the speedo unit out for a look. There are two nuts underneath that hold the unit together. With them removed, the top lifts out - itself a sealed unit - exposing the light bulb at the back. Some fiddling revealed that it was just a loose fit between the bulb and the holder, just a casualty of vibration. But since I had it off, I went all LED, all the way. The princely sum of £6 secured 6 x T10 501 round top LED bulbs, which are now fitted to the speedo, tacho, indicator, neutral and full beam lights.

They're a definite improvement in the centre console; the overall light output is probably similar to the 2W incandescents that they replace, but it's much more directional, which is ideal for these mounts. In the dial consoles, the advantage isn't so clear. The top of the dials are better illuminated, but the bottoms less so. Still, the important speeds are at the top, so I'm OK with that.

So I'd recommend replacing the incandescents with LEDs, but would suggest using larger wide-angle caps for the dial controls.

Next on the project list is fitting a choke cable. The choke is mounted directly on the carb, and it's fiddly reaching under there to flip it, especially in the dark, with thick gloves on - i.e. in winter, when you actually need it.

So I've bought a universal choke cable, sold for use on Minis.

I reckon it should be possible to finagle this onto the bike somehow to remote operate the existing lever, although it'll need shortening, and mounting brackets fabbed up. Mmm, fabbed. Let's all say it together; faaaaabbed.

Listen... you smell something?

2009-11-14T15:21:00.003Z

Some exaggeration for effect may be in evidence.

Where I been at, I hear you ask? I been at one with my bike, just tripping and... uh... gripping and... such-like. I think in the near future, we can only expect updates when things go awry.

Up until this week, things have been non-awry. I haven't managed any more mini-epics, just commutes and pleasure jaunts. The bike has been behaving itself just fine, although the tyres are not great in the wet, and roundabouts need to be treated with serious respect - I've had a foot down to correct a wobble. Woke the cagers up, anyway.

However, this week has brought a potential new issue, a mild cooking smell. It's a 'hot' smell rather than sharp burning, is evident even after short runs, and it smells vaguely rubbery. There's nothing binding on the wheels, and I can't find anything touching the engine, although it does seem to be coming from down there. So, internal then.

I suspect the clutch, particularly with the switch to fully synthetic oil and the Activ8 treatment that I did a while back, but if it's that, then it's taken a long time to start slipping. I've adjusted it up, and there's no feel or sound of slipping evident.

Well, first port of call was another oil change today, still with 5W-40 synthetic, but the smell still seems to be evident. Then it stalled entering a roundabout, just faltered, popped and died. OK, I was being a bit limp-wristed, and it started right up again, but we're not having that.

The other thing that occurs then is the valve clearances. I've had them tighten up to nothing once before, as did SteveF on the Chinese Bike Forum, and they are suspiciously quiet at the moment. First thing tomorrow, it'll be off with the rocker cover and out with the feeler gauges. Then we shall see what we shall see. Oh yes, we shall. See, I mean.

Intensify forward lightpower!

2009-09-10T21:52:00.007+01:00

I don't want anything getting through...

...'specially geezers in Kias.

Well, what do you expect? The bike's running like a dream, so I was left with no choice but to add some more bits. No choice, I tell you.

The two new lights are the ones below the headlight. They're fitted to a bar that's bolted on to the mounts that were used by the stock "Huoniao" badge, and were a steal at just £15 for the pair including delivery. There's a LED light-ring round the edge, and 55W 'halogen' (apparently) bulbs. I've only wired up the LEDs just now, since I'm already running a 55W headlight, and 175W or so total in lights would be asking way too much from the plucky little generator and battery. I may wire the 'halogens' up to the full beam switch as brief "flasher" lights for saying "hello" to other bikers - or "HERE I AM!" to cagers, for that matter. The more presence, the better.

In servicing news, I did another oil change at 2880Km or so. I think it's the 6th change in total. I've been getting some clutch drag with Halfords 10W-40 semi synthetic motorcycle oil, so went for their 5W-40 fully synthetic. Verdict: yes. It's subjective, but the bike feels a little quieter and smoother, and the clutch drag is definitely decreased. With the 10W-40 semi, when the engine was hot, I had to kick up from 1st to 2nd and then back down to get neutral, but now I can go from 1st to neutral more easily.

The cut-down DPR8EA-9 plug was working just fine, but I got the eBay itch and grabbed a DR8EIX (I had a DPR9EIX-9 in for the Lang Way Roond). The starting and warming up with the iridium plug is great, and in conjunction with the 5W-40, the low speed running is really steady, with no hint of hesitation or roughness, and less clutch grab. We're only talking about a marginal improvement, but it all helps with confidence at low speed. Which as we all know - or will find out eventually - is where you're most likely to drop the bike.

Speaking of which, a work chumrade (not the Lang Way Roondie) has just bought a spanking new Suzuki Bandit GSF650S. Lovely bike, absolutely lovely. And heavy. Really heavy. And I've got these short Scotch legs and... well... I dropped it in the work car park. With 90 miles on it.

I'm going to hell.

On the bright side, the bits to fix the right side (indicator, brake lever, mirror) were surprisingly cheap, and hey, now I own part of a Big Boy Bike. Plus as a salve to my conscience, he then dropped it at some lights, on the left side, so at least it's nicely symmetrical again.

Unfortunately, I really do think I'm reaching the end of what I can do with the Huonaio[*], short of grinding and welding, so it may be time to start thinking about sitting a test. Not necessarily so that I can get a bigger bike, but it's an easy piston swap to a 150cc, or we could give it large to 200 or 233cc.

You gotta have a dream, don't you?

[*] davidqc over at the Chinese Bike Forum turned up the trouser-stiffening info that Huoniao means Firebird. Hmm... Firebird HN125-8. Sounds much studlier.

A quick quickie

2009-08-25T22:40:00.002+01:00

Aaaah, that's the stuff. The stars have aligned themselves advantageously, and the bike feels the strongest it's been yet. To recap, we're currently on:

Halfords 10W 40 semi synthetic oil.
Activ-8 friction reducer.
K&N cone air filter
95 main jet (down from 100)
Needle in centre position (down from 2 up and 1 up)
Idle screw about 2 turns out
DPR8EA-9 plug with the earth electrode cut back.
97 octane fuel
Stock CDI
Aftermarket coil.

There we go. I did file the electrode back a little more, and it doesn't seem to have harmed it (yet). Now the bike is happy all the way through the rev range, pulls away strong, revs smoothly right up to 10,500 and the plug is staying clean. It's perhaps a little too clean, and I may go back to a 100 jet or raise the needle, but for my current short commutes it's probably good enough.

Today's purchase was 5 Metrics of Halford's 5W 40 fully synthetic oil. I had a look at Castrol Power 1 GPS 4T 10W-40, but it's 4 Metrics for the same price and only semi-synthetic. I want to give filthy Nature a body-swerve on the next oil change to see if I can reduce the clutch drag a little.

I'm modest to a fault
I feel that it's my duty to mention again how much positive attention this cheap little hack gets from other bikers. A Honda CB750 pilot - a proper classic bike, so obviously a discerning chap - collared me at the shops to enquire about it. Apparently it's a "really tidy little bike", a epithet with which I can only concur.

Poor bike. Poor, poor bike. When will the madness end?

2009-08-23T21:36:00.007+01:00

More entries in the Catalogue of Foot Shooting.

Bondage
The rear of the leather panniers on the bike would rub against the wheel given their druthers, so I made up an aluminium bracket to hold them away from it. It's a W shape, attached to what were the rear seat/luggage rack mounting points, with the centre of the W being an arch over the wheel. When I first made it, the arch was right up under the rear mudguard, giving plenty of clearance. However, after putting the custom seat on, the panniers are now slung directly on the rear mudguard, and are sitting lower down (which is generally a Good Thing). I had to extend the left and right corners of the W down, which meant "stealing" some length from the supporting arch. I thought it was still comfortably high enough...

You can probably guess the rest. Spotting a big ditch in the road, I stood up to smooth the ride. With the rear unloaded, the wheel jumped up, caught the centre of the aluminium bracket, and dragged it around - I mean, it actually pulled it into a U shape, until the bracket ended up wrapped around the front of the wheel.

Screeeeech, went the wheel as it locked up hard. I'm happy to report that I held it up, even got the clutch in and kept the engine running.

There was a little cosmetic damage to the ring over the sprocket, but the bike seems to have survived the incident just fine. I've kept and sorted the bracket - the panniers need something to hold them apart - but now the arch is running behind the wheel rather than over it. All seems OK so far, but it's something else to keep an eye on though.

Smut
The bike has been bogging down at idle, and every time I've pulled the plug (DPR9EIX-9) it's been sooted up badly. I changed the 100 jet (stock was 90) down to a 95, and leaned the idle out, but to no avail. Suspecting that the D*9* was running too cool (it transfers heat to the engine faster than a D*8*), I rustled up a spare non Iridium plug that I happened to have lying around, a DPR8EA-9. Something I've been meaning to try on a plug is cutting the earth electrode back so that the spark jumps diagonally. The idea is that this exposes the spark more fully to the fuel-air mixture and allows better combustion, rather than having to flow around the electrode. The effect - if any - is probably minimal, but this is a Project Bike, so here goes:

It's rather conservative; there's still some overlap of the electrodes. I think I'll trim it back a little more - you know, until it stops working. Note that the gap between the terminals should still be 0.6 - 0.7mm, just diagonally rather than flat.

Verdict: well, it works. I won't say that it works any better, but the bike started and ran just fine up to 10,000rpm, so if you fancy a fiddle, I'd say go for it. It'll give you something to bore the missus with, if nothing else. Update: my missus just read this entry, so Mission Accomplished.

Slipped disc
After my ride to test the trimmed plug, I pulled it and it was already sooty as a chimney sweep's nostril. Something's not right here, thinks I. I'd already moved the needle back from raised one slot to the centre slot, but pulled the slide to lower it again.

Ah hah! When I disassembled it, I found that the spring clip that should sit on top of the needle circlip and hold it down had found its way underneath the circlip - in other words, the needle was sitting way too high, and there was actually nothing holding it down except for the wafer-thin grasp of gravity. That explains the sooting, although the mystery of why I can't leave well enough alone remains unsolved.

This spring clip is really fiddly to fit, but I took my time with it and got it solidly in place, with the needle left in its stock centre position. Tomorrow will tell whether I've managed to "improve" the bike all the way back to its out-of-the-box performance. It could happen!

How low can you go?

2009-08-12T15:55:00.004+01:00

How's that looking? Speak up? "Super Pimp", you say? Well, if you insist.

That's a custom seat made from a piece of spare floorboard, some upholstery foam, and cheap (but surprisingly nice) brown vinyl, courtesy of eBay again. It slots into the retaining groove at the front, and has two bolts and wing nuts holding it down at the back. It'll need a bit of re-jigging, but is basically sound, if not quite as supportive as the original. I may put another layer of foam in, as it's only medium density.

In other news, the bike was bogging down at idle and low revs. Pulling the plug after a period of idle revealed it to be blacker than a parking warden's heart, which I've attempted to sort by leaning out the idle mixture substantially. I'd forgotten that I'd been creeping it richer and richer during the Lang Way Roond to try and keep the engine cool (through evaporative cooling) but had taken a good thing too far. Now I'm running it really lean for a bit to see if I can find a happy medium. I suspect that I should be using the choke for a minute or so in the morning, rather than running it so rich that it doesn't need any choke while cold. Further bulletins as events warrant.

And in a further bout of en-tweakening, I've replaced the aftermarket "POSH" branded CDI with the stock one. The bike is very slightly less eager between 5000-7000 rpm, but runs smoother above 8500rpm, where the POSH was missing, allowing a higher push in 4th gear before the shift to 5th. I think the POSH was staying too advanced at high rpm, lowering the top speed. Xian now do a "Kamizake" CDI which they've developed themselves with testing from Forchetto from the Chinese Bike Forum. I may give that a try to see if it gives the best of both worlds.

Oops, I did it again

2009-07-29T19:17:00.003+01:00

I whipped the seat off today, and the (probable) cause of the weird missing problem was immediately obvious. I've fitted an aftermarket POSH CDI, which is larger than the stock CDI and consequently needs a custom securing solution. I'd just wired it in place to the frame at the front of the seat area with the connector (actually a plug converter) supported on top of the mount that the old air box had attached to. So when I put weight on the front of the seat, it pushed the CDI down and strained the connector. D'oh.

That seems to match the symptoms that I'd been experiencing, and a quick re-positioning of the CDI seems to have sorted it, although I'll need to do another long run to confirm that. While I was fiddling, I adjusted and lubed the chain (it was seriously slack after the Truncated Way Roond), nudged the pre-load on the rear shocks up one notch and put the carb needle back to the middle position, since the bike had a thirst on it on the last leg home.

So yet again I've self-inflicted a problem on the bike. If I'd just leave it alone, it'd be fine. But where's the fun in that?

WIN!

2009-07-28T19:02:00.004+01:00

(partial)

This is a £720 (+ pimping) Chinese bike half way up the 20% gradient Applecross pass, shortly before tailgating a Jeep up the rest of the way.

The Issues that dogged day #3 seem to be in hand, and minor. Here's the story.

I dropped the bike on day #3 (while dismounting, obviously) and later that day, it started missing pretty badly when it was hot and under throttle. It also had real problems pulling away from a stop, backfiring and dying in 1st gear unless I thorougly thrashed it (like, 7000rpm) and let the clutch out verrrrry slowly.

Fix attempt #1 was to pop the rocker cover and check the tappet clearances, which seemed fine (i.e. there were some, but I didn't bring feeler gauges). I loosened both tappets another 1/2 turn to be sure, and checked that there was an audible buzz.

The bike was just fine when cold, and started off strongly. However, when it had heated up, the problem came back in spades, and I this time I noticed that it was missing noticeably whenever it hit a bump in the road. Very curious. I suspected fuel issues because of that.

Fix attempt #2 was to strip the carb, check that fuel was getting to it, that the floats were free and the jets weren't blocked. While I had it apart, I richened the idle mixture a little more, and raised the needle one notch - I'd previously put it back to the centre position. All seemed fine, so again we carried on.

Oh dear. The bike hopped and staggered its way on to the remote village of Kinlochewe, where I charmed the natives into revealing that there was a Man Who Fixes Motors round the back of his (unsigned) farmhouse just up the road. After another cooldown, I thrashed the bike to within 200 yards of said house, when it just up and died. It was then a push-job to get it to the surprisingly well equipped little garage, where the ~~spanner monkey~~ highly skilled professional initially said "I don't do bikes" until I engaged his interest by assuring him that it was really primitive and old skool, and going through the things that I'd tried.

We had a good fifteen minutes of prodding and poking, with the bike (again) starting and running absolutely fine while cold, and refusing to misbehave. Eventually, the Man Who Fixes Motors noticed that the spade connectors on both the coil and rectifier were loose, and crimped them up. Off I went for a quick test run, expecting the bike to die any second, which it absolutely... didn't.

RESULT!

So just crimping the connectors seems to have sorted the missing problem, at least while running, and at least when I'm sitting towards the back of the seat. Yes, it's that weird. When I shift my weight to the front of the seat, the bike stumbles. You know what I'm thinking? The accursed side stand cutout switch, which I'd "cleverly" relocated under the seat...

Unfortunately, my confidence had taken a knock, so we bailed on our John O'Groats aspirations and headed back for civilisation, in the form of Inverness. You can tell that it's civilised because there's nowhere to park. We made it there, and slightly past, to Fort Augustus on day #3, then pushed the other 150 miles home on day #4.

There's not a lot to tell from the last day, since it was almost all on the A82. It's a nice enough road, with some stunning sights, but the winds down Glencoe were just vile, and it was a relief to get past there and into the central belt.

I'm confident that once I get the seat off, there will just be a bit of loose wiring to find and fix and the bike will be pristine again.

Overall, I'd say it did very well. It was caned on and off for 4 days solid while carrying a significant load, often in excess of an indicated 50mph with the throttle pegged up Ben and down Glen. The only wobble in the whole trip was when I hit a wet cattle grid at a slight angle and was forced to correct. Contrast with my chumrade's CBR125 which was reportedly quite twitchy in the bends, especially in a crosswind, so that said chumrade was slightly slower through the twisty stuff. On the other hand, while I was pegging it in 4th up a hill trying to reach 50mph, he got bored and just zoomed past, so fair play to the little Devil Machine.

We both had a blast, enjoyed our bikes, met some interesting people (fully half of whom weren't nutters) and saw some astonishing places. I've lived in Scotland all my life, but haven't seen more than a tiny part of it as an adult, mostly the central belt and A9 corridor. There's much more to see, and a bike is a brilliant way to see it. What are you waiting for?

Lang Way Roond: truncated

2009-07-27T21:03:00.007+01:00

I had a delighted call from Mr Borg this morning - they were in Applecross having tootled over this rather nice road and had an absolute blast. Apparently he doesn't mind single-track roads now, not on his motorbike in any case. Next stop was due to be Ullapool.

Alas a text at teatime revealed things had not proceeded according to plan, and they were in Inverness. Later this evening he called to elucidate - he was having bike troubles and had had to stop a number of times to tinker with it, eventually having to push it into a garage. He and the bloke in the garage managed to get it going again but he didn't feel confident in ~~crossing Mongolia~~ heading into the remoter parts of Sutherland with it playing up so they'd made for Inverness, then headed down to Fort Augustus to a campsite.

They've decided to bail as Andrew's bike is also struggling a tad now and they're both knackered. But they've both had a great time and the trip is clearly labelled success from that point of view.

They're hoping to get home tomorrow, all being well, and he'll presumably update with pictures/stats/rants/road reviews himself.

Mileage = 279km or 173.3706 Mediaeval miles.

Running total distance = 279 + 210 + 349 = 838km or 520.7332 Renaissance miles.

"It's amazing scenery here - it really reminds me of Scotland."

2009-07-26T20:29:00.007+01:00

Actually that's a picture I took at Loch Morlich last week but as Mr Borg informed me in today's telephonic update that it was a little rainy I thought this'd be appropriate.

Stats for the day:

Sheep - 4 (seen? run over? he didn't specify).
Dolphins - 4.
Rain - ALL.
Drops - 0.
Falls - 0.
Gearshifts fixed - 1.
Bikers met - 2.
Ex-bikers met - 3.
Knitting - FAIL.

Mileage: 2029 - yesterday's (1819) = 210km or 130.494 Prehistoric Miles.

This evening they've stopped at Kyle of Lochalsh, having travelled via Mallaig and taken the ferry to Skye. They took a little tootle around Skye - "Got to Portree, had a good pee, then turned back" and headed for the bridge. They stopped in Broadford to see if Teo's Handspun was open but it wasn't - 973 Excellent Husband Points for trying though. 'We were going to go to the Scary Fairy bit but were too scared' (No, I haven't the foggiest).

Oh yes, the title refers to Obi Wan McGregor's comments every ten miles or so of Long Way Round.

Lang Way Roond: the Beginning

2009-07-25T20:34:00.008+01:00

"With great power comes great responsibility."

Mwahaha, revenge of the missus.

Blogging powers now passed over to Mrs Borg.

I've had several updates from Mr Borg today. He set off at around 9.40, the 9am start he'd predicted being, predictably, optimistic. They made it to Oban and then to Fort William in excellent time and were hoping to get to Mallaig before stopping for the evening. However they seem to have taken a very scenic route (by which I mean really, really the Lang Way Roond) involving sheep, via Strontian, after which strontium was named - must be true, both the sign-post and Wikipedia say so. They've given up for the night and are camping in Strontian in a campsite with facilities, i.e. showers. So they're not stinking yet.

Mallaig and Skye tomorrow, though Skye may be skipped depending on the weather. Roads are great (apart from the single-track sheep-infested highways that Mr Borg is not so keen on) and the scenery is likewise great and 'we really must go there together sometime'. This is going in print so I can remind him.

Some stats for the avid readership of this blog:

Helmet drops - Rogerborg 2, Chumrade 1
Bike drops - Rogerborg 0, Chumrade 1.
Mudguards jammed against wheel by weight of toolbag - Rogerborg 1.
Clutch adjustments - Rogerborg 1.
Textile panniers resting on exhaust downpipe - Rogerborg 2.
Panniers fixed - Rogerborg 2.
Sheep on road avoided - ALL.
Sheep hit - 0.
Distance travelled - 1819-1470 km = 349 km = approx. 216 Old Folks' Miles.
Sump plugs lost - 0.
Campervans overtaken - 1.

Lang Way Roond: the Inventorising

2009-07-24T22:03:00.008+01:00

Keep away from the baggage, foul denizens of Ullapool, lest I send you back to the frozen Hell from whence you sprang!

Bike #1: Huonaio HN125-8
1 x bike-in-a-box, some modifications, just serviced
1 x rider, containing spunk, possibly gumption
1 x pair textile panniers
1 x pair of large leather panniers
1 x backpack
1 x cargo net
1 x pair motocross boots
1 x pair thin canvas shoes
4 x cotton/synthetic shorts
1 x pair Sealskinz(tm) waterproof socks
5 x pairs anti bacterial sports socks
2 x cotton vests
1 x synthetic T shirt
1 x synthetic long sleeved shirt
1 x textile jacket
1 x textile trousers
1 x back brace
1 x helmet (style still to be decided)
1 x neck/face warmer
~~1 x pair summer gloves~~
1 x pair waterproof winter gloves
1 x waterproof poncho
2 x emergency space foil blankets
1 x Gelert solo tent
1 x self inflating mat
1 x summer weight sleeping bag
1 x small angler's stool
1 x wind up LED torch
3 x disposable lighters
1 x eye mask
5 x pairs ear plugs
1 x roll toilet paper
1 x pack 80 baby wipes
1 x set eating utensils
1 x small umbrella
1 x talc
1 x antibiotic handwash
1 x factor 50 sunblock
1 x pack Immodium(tm)
1 x dry shampoo
1 x toothpaste
2 x toothbrushes
1 x deodorant
4 x anti-blister plasters
1 x roll sticking plaster
1 x multitool
1 x small chain (for chaining items to bike)
~~1 x disk lock / alarm~~
1 x collection of assorted nuts, bolts and washers
1 x junior hacksaw
1 x 1/4" socket set
2 x mole grips
2 x monkey wrenches
4 x assorted spanners
1 x set spare bulbs (including headlamp)
3 x assorted screwdrivers
1 x spare chain (428 / 118 links)
1 x set Allen keys
1 x plug spanner
1 x needle file (flat / half round)
1 x 12v power socket
1 x Cheap-O-Matic^tm sat nav
1 x 12VDC->240VDC + USB power inverter
1 x mobile telephone + charger
1 x Kodak DX7440 camera
1 x gas camping stove (can't find my petrol one)
1 x set camping pans
1 x backpack full of trail provisions (chocolate, spiced sausage, dried fruit, noodles, etc)
1 x hip flask with 1/4 pint malt whisky
1 x empty 5 litre can of petroleum distillate (to be filled during ride if it seems necessary to get us me through the Wilds)

Bike #2: Honda CG125
1 x silly overpriced miniature Japanese trinket, just serviced
1 x rider, containing optimism born of lack of experience
1 x pair teeny weeny "sports" panniers
1 x tank bag, effectively doubling the height of bike
1 x oversized 2 man technical tent
1 x giant squishy sleeping bag
1 x handkerchief
Perhaps some spare pants, although I wouldn't count on it

Let's riiiiiiide!

Really, really slowly.

Lang Way Roond: the Announcening

2009-07-23T21:17:00.003+01:00

Inspired by such adventure biking legends as The Chinese Bike Forum's SteveF and his planned jaunt from London to Cape Town, and... uh... The Chinese Bike Forum's SteveF and his planned jaunt from London to Inverness, I'm going to be setting off on a mini-epic tour of Jockland next week.

I'll be teaming up with my workmate, fellow L'rner and (soon to be) staunch chumrade, Andrew, and his accursed Japanese devil machine, a Honda CBR 125.

The itinerary is (approximately) Glasgow -> West Coast -> Oban -> Mallaig -> Ferry to Skye -> Around Skye -> Bridge to Kyle of Lochalsh -> the sheep tracks up the West Coast, all the way round past Ullapool -> North Coast to Thurso and John O'Groats -> East Coast through Wick down to Inverness -> Speyside through Aberdeen -> Dundee -> Queensferry -> Back to Glasgow.

Well, that's the plan. Obstacles include one or both bikes exploding, running out of fuel half way up Sheep Fancier Pass, or being kidnapped by the six-toed locals in the back of beyond and locked in the cellar with their sister-daughters. Alternatively, having time called by the missus and having to cane it back home by the shortest route.

I'm figuring on an average of 40mph (and that's optimistic) with 4 hours riding a day, so 150 miles a day or thereabouts. That should see us finished in... uh... actually, I have no idea, since I haven't measured the distance. Preparation is for people with fat chested PR bunnies tucked away in their London command bunkers. I'm looking at you McGregor.

Win, lose or horrible Lovecraftian human sacrifice, it should be a trip to remember.

Next post (and the last before kick off) will be an inventory of gear. I'll be carrying most of it, since the CBR 125 is about the size of a razorblade, and Andrew has gone for "sports" panniers. I can fit two big leather panniers on the back, plus two small ones on my front crash bars, so I guess I'll be pack muling the loo roll and beers.

Lube jobs and tappets and bolts, oh my.

2009-07-21T19:27:00.002+01:00

Lube jobs and tappets and bolts, oh my.

Another long delay between updates, following the usual story: the bike won't die or throw a real hissy fit, no matter how actively or passively I neglect it.

In no particular order, I have...

...dumped some Activ 8 friction reducer in with the oil. The huddled fearful masses who haven't tried it will swear blind that it will wreck your clutch, cause your piston rings to give up the struggle, and inflict leprosy on your sons and your son's sons. Those who have tried it (well, SteveF from The Chinese Bike Forum, anyway) tell wondrous tales of increased response and improved power under load. This humble correspondent has noticed nothing, yet, with a 60ml to 950ml dose and several hundred km running. However, I've just done another oil change (well premature) and dumped another 60ml in the new oil, which is when Steve noticed the big improvement. We'll see - more of that in the next post.

...re-adjusted the tappets. SteveF (again!) noted that his tappets had closed up over the course of just 500km, to the tune of bending a pushrod. Steve really looks after his bike (or did until Codger Man wrote it off), and I'd noticed a loss of high rev power and a sinister silence at the end of a long run, so I whipped my top off and founds that my tappets did indeed have no - zero, nil, zilch, nada - gap, only a few hundred km after adjustment.

I gapped them again to the generous side of 0.08mm, and they've held steady this time after another few hundred km, although I haven't been doing any fast runs during that time. So the jury's still out on whether they're prone to major slippage during high rpm runs, or whether I'd simply badly mis-adjusted them in the previous service. Either way, the valves and pushrods seem to have survived the experience.

...replaced one of the stock chromed exhaust manifold nuts that dropped off when I was doing the test run after the tappet adjustment! Now, this one is definitely Idiot Rash, since I'd noticed the nuts slackening off, and done nothing about it. Given the expansion and contraction in that area, it's not really surprising, and I should have followed the Way of the Spring Washer. All the nuts are now washered up, and seem to be holding. Again though, I'm slacking, since I should have replaced the studs with the A2 steel that I've bought for the purpose. They are going to go, it's a common issue on these engines, and it's just a matter of when. I did have a tentative go at removing them, but they're pretty solidly screwed into the head, and I wimped out on crushing the threads in order to attempt removing them. I figured with my luck, I'd just shear them off rather than extracting them, so might as well wait for them to shear under their own steam. The seem in good condition just now, but I guess they're going to go without warning when they do go.

Which brings up back to our old friend, Mr Sump Plug. The bodge job (crush washer replaced with a rubber seal) is holding up fine with not a drop of leakage, although the plug itself was actually slightly slack when I did the recent oil change. I splashed out on an M12 bolt from B&Q and cut it to slightly longer than the sump plug bolt, but it's not for fitting, and I don't want to force it and chew up the sump any more. It appears that while the thread pitch is the same as the stock plug, each thread is slightly thicker than on the sump plug. I'll keep the bolt for an emergency repair attempt (in my new Pimp Tool Roll), although I'll have to bite the bullet and helicoil the sump sooner or later.

It may be sooner, since I've planned something a little... rash... which we'll cover in the Next Exciting Installment of bikeinabox. I see you shiver with antici...

Until then, I'll just confirm that the bike is still a sweet runner and great fun to ride. It reaches 50mph without breaking a sweat, then pushes on a bit higher, and that's all she wrote. Despite all the gearing changes, CDI, coil, filter and jet fiddling, the plain fact is that peak power is at 8500rpm and (with a 17 tooth front sprocket) that's an indicated 60mph, or a fraction over on the flat. That's south of the 100kpm required for an A motorcycle test, so you honest learners might want to beg, borrow or hire a genuine Japanese hack for sitting your test.

...pation.

Stripping: not always a force for good

2009-06-16T20:49:00.007+01:00

Sie würde ein gutes stripperin sein. Ein verfluchtes gutes!

Meesa say dissa bad stripping:

Take it from me, over-tightening the sump plug is firmly in the latter category.

So, 1000 km ticked up on the clock, the engine was spicy hot, and it was time for the first 'regular' oil change - actually the 4th change I've done, but who's counting? Me, that's who. The plug came out easily enough, and after a thorough drain, I put it back in. Like a cheapskate, I didn't replace the crush washer though.

I am fairly certain that I didn't over-tighten it this time, which just means that I must have over tightened it last time. In it went, tighten, tighten... slacken. Ouch. That dawning moment of realisation is just awful. When I took it back out again, it had the sump wrapped around the lower threads. Ouch. I'd blame the soft alloy (aluminium and cheesecake?) but this isn't just an issue on Chinese bikes: BMWs eat their sumps too. It's more likely an Idiot Tax issue than a materials problem.

The long term fix is to fit a helicoil. This will actually be a Good Thing^tm in the end, since it'll provide a harder thread. However, it'll be tricky to do it in situ, and trickier to get all the swarf out, so I don't want to rush it.

So in the meantime, I've bodged it, in best mend-and-make-do stylee. Removing the defunct crush washer and the spring washer (what was that doing there?) from the sump plug and replacing them with a thin rubber seal - a repurposed bicycle inner tube repair patch - allowed the plug to reach further up into the sump and grip the good threads that I hadn't stripped. Then I tightened it up... very... very... carefully.

Praise to the Invisible Sky Giant, it's holding tight, with not even a hint of seepage after 2 days. I'll punt on it until the next oil change, since there's no point in disturbing it if it's good for now. Nicely dissembled, non?

To lighten the mood, I can report that actually riding the bike is still an absolute joy, and the engine is still getting smoother and stronger. Nothing has broken that I haven't broken myself. If I'd just leave it well alone, it'd be fine.

The 1,000 word post

2009-06-12T20:33:00.005+01:00

All of them "pimp".

Liking that. Liking that a lot.

For those playing along at home, that's a rattle-can job. 4 light coats of Plasti-Kote white primer, 36 hours drying time, a light sand, 4 coats of Plasti-Kote 4400 metallic bronze (it's got pronounced silver sparkles in it), 36 hours drying, another gentle sand, a further 2 very light coats of bronze, 24 hours drying, and then 3 coats of Halfords clear gloss lacquer on the mudguard and side panels and Halfords petrol resistant lacquer on the tank.

The Plasti-Kote paint is pretty decent, and quite hard to mess up as long as you go lightly and treat it primarily as an exercise in can-shaking punctuated by brief bursts of spraying. The lacquer, I wouldn't recommend: the regular stuff runs like a French soldier, and the petrol resistant variety needs to be put on far thicker than I'd like in each coat to get a decent gloss effect.

Still, with enough preparation and patience, I've got a pretty good finish going. It'll need some gentle smoothing and re-lacquering after the lacquer has cured (two weeks!) but it's ridable as-is until then. Also, I think the rear mudguard and luggage rack need painted to match, to balance the frontal pimpness.

I'm in half a mind to do the wheels and crash bars in metallic gold, although that may be a bling too far.

Hot naked barely legal bike action!

2009-06-06T17:45:00.006+01:00

Saucy minx, flaunting her exposed frame like that! What's the occasion? We'll come to that in a minute. First, let's take a closer look while her kit's off.

That's the aforementioned K&N filter fitted to the carb. I'd previously thought that it was too big, and that it would foul the battery anyway, but it turned out that I just needed to cowboy up and clamp it on tighter. It was much easier with the carb removed, and while it's pressed tight against the battery, it's not under strain. In fact, it's partially holding the battery in place now, assisted by the traditional garden wire twisted around and over the battery.

Here's the void where the air box used to be: it could be used for more tools storage, or a sub-woofer...

The reason for taking the carb off was to fiddle with the jets. Following the advice from the usual suspects, I drained the float bowl (remember to turn the main fuel tap off first!) using the screw at the bottom of the carb. I then unbolted it from the engine intake and the old air box, removed the fuel and breather pipes, and wiggled it free from its mounts. Three small bolts underneath hold the float bowl on. With them removed, the main jet is exposed, in the centre at the bottom. I was surprised to find that the stock jet is only a 90 (i.e. 0.9mm diameter). I'd bought a 105 from Xian, and tried that, but it was too big, even with the K&N filter. Another next-day order secured 95 and 100 jets, and the 100 seems to suit nicely.

While I had the carb off, I also did the other recommended fix; raising the main needle. It's underneath the throttle cable on top of the carb. Unscrewing the end of the throttle cable reveals the spring that presses the needle down. Carefully pulling this clear of the top of the throttle slide revealed the top of the needle, with a circlip around it and another clip over it holding it down. With it all disassembled, I found that the circlip was in the middle of 5 grooves. I moved it to the bottom groove, effectively raising the needle and letting more fuel through at 1/2 throttle and above. It was fiddly getting it all back together, but just took patience.

With those changes made, the bike feels gutsier throughout the rev range (and incidentally makes a distinctive growl under throttle). These are definitely changes worth making.

Now... why is the bodywork off? The stock black has a nice finish, but I can't be doing with the Houniao branding, so it's time to break out the rattle can and wet-and-dry paper, and pimp things up another notch.

That's the front mudguard (Pioneer Nevada), tank and side panels. I won't be doing the rear mudguard, at least not initially, as I'm investigating alternatives. Well, I wouldn't be happy if I'd run out of things to tweak.

The parts are currently on about their 4th thin layer of white undercoat. They'll get another gentle sand and coat tonight, then tomorrow morning, I go for it with a can of Plasti-kote metallic glitter copper/bronze sourced from the local B&Q. Wish me luck.

Screen power: enhanced

2009-05-25T19:42:00.005+01:00

Armed with 2 sheets of 3mm 50cm x 50cm perspex (one clear, plus one in a very light blue tint, shown in the picture), plus a few hours sans kiddies, I had a go at bodging up a replacement for the PUIG screen. I should note that the PUIG did hold together fine, and in fact isn't a bad screen for the price, it's just that I wanted something a little bigger, and I'd cracked the PUIG when fitting the 8" screen to the 7" light on the Huonaio. With hindsight, I could definitely have avoided that by heating the screen before fitting.

The screen fabrication was pleasantly straightforward. A 7" plate provided a handy template for a semicircular hole in the bottom edge. A narrow fine toothed jigsaw blade easily followed the inside of the curve. Then I angled the sides into a basic inverted pyramidal shape, added a gentle curve to the top edge, and nibbled a little off the rear lower corners in order not to foul the indicator stalks.

Then it was out with the paintstripper heat gun, and the shaping was begun. It's a fairly simple process, it just requires patience and re-adjustments to get the lower sides curved in to fit the sides of the headlight, and a gentle curve across the whole screen. Clamping the bottom edges where the screen will attach to the headlight between (e.g.) two pieces of wood helps to keep them flat, or else it's easy to end up with very warped lower edges. If you're doing this yourself for the first time, then just take your time, move the gun steadily back and forth across the piece where you want the bend so that it doesn't get scorched, and don't force the perspex; once it gets up to temperature, it suddenly becomes very pliable.

Late in the process, I noticed that I'd stuffed up the top edge a bit, and I had to go back in with the jigsaw to even it up. Since the screen was curved by this point, I couldn't lay it properly flat, and managed to add a small crack. Ah, I can live with it.

The screen is attached just by bolting it to the headlight mounts, with 8mm holes drilled as far from the edges as I could manage. Just go up the bits one mm at a time and go very gently, and the perspex shouldn't crack. When I was doing the bolts up, I noticed that the twisted bottoms of the screen still weren't quite square, so I heated them up again gently while doing up the bolts. One side did crack very slightly, but I'm hoping that it holds together. If not, I can do the whole screen over, and this time I can just use the first attempt as a template to shape a second screen. Score!

It's a relatively tall screen, but it's resting against the instrument binnacle (and could be secured to it with a spare number plate sticky-pad that I'm sure I have somewhere), so I'm fairly happy that it's supported well enough. Actually, even at 50cm tall, it still manages to direct the airflow right onto my face... gaaaah. I'm not sure I want to go taller, but now I'm thinking... hmmm... could I lower the seat a bit?

Well, idle hands make for the devil's work, don't they?

Size matters

2009-05-12T20:50:00.003+01:00

Well, numbers matter.

The aforementioned 4+2 converter plug from Xian came with 5 wires (i.e. one missing). It fitted the sockets on the bike and CDI just fine, but the bike wouldn't start. A continuity check revealed that all wires were secure. Hmmm.

A visit to the Chinese Bike Forum over the weekend revealed a previous purchaser who'd also had a problem, which he'd solved by getting another converter with all 6 plugs wired up. A quick phone call to Xian got a 6-wire converter winging its way to me, entirely at their cost - they didn't even want the 5-wire one back. Very decent of them. They also said that they come with 5 wires from the Chinese supplier, and work on 90% of bikes. I've since found that older HN125 models do only have 5 wires on the bike side of the ignition; mine has 6 though, and needs all 6 wires.

Oh, I blew the ending: the new plug works fine with the POSH CDI. A quick lunchtime jaunt revealed a modest improvement in eagerness at mid to high revs. That's not the way I like to ride, but if you want or need to work your bike hard, the POSH seems like a good buy.

Since I'm unable to resist the urge to keep fiddling, I've got an NGK DPR9EIX-9 spark plug on order. To translate, that's 12mm / projected insulator / resistor / heat rating 9 (runs cooler than normal) / 19mm reach / iridium / 0.9mm gap. It's perhaps not ideal for the bike: I'll really have to try it out. This excellent CG 125 guide suggests trying it since as well as giving a stronger spark, it should help prevent power fade during extended high speed running. This isn't an issue for me normally, but I'm considering trying a jaunt up to Inverness in July with a fellow Huoniao (HN125-4F) owner, and am gradually trying to get my bike up to scratch, since his bike seems pretty pimped.

Since I can't find a cheap screen that I like, I've bought a couple of 3mm 50cm x 50cm sheets of perspex, which I'll have a go at cutting and bending with the aid of a heat gun to see if I can get a usable screen out of them. If I'd thought about it, I'd have heated the PUIG screen before fitting it to the smaller HN125 headlight, which might have stopped it starring.

Ah well - if it hadn't starred, then I wouldn't have the opportunity to get my hands dirty (and burned). That's what this bike is all about, after all.

Performance anxiety

2009-05-08T20:23:00.007+01:00

To my mild chagrin, there's very little space left to actually bolt things on to the bike, and it still hasn't suffered a failure. So out of desperation, I've had to resort to performance tweaks.

First, I fitted a 17 tooth front sprocket in place of the 16 tooth that was already replacing the stock 15 tooth. Interestingly, the rear sprocket is already a relatively small 43 tooth, giving the bike a long gearing, longer than that recommended by Xian Racing. Still, it felt good with this ratio, keeping the revs nice and low at commuter speeds, and I can always drop down a gear if the bike struggles. Theoretically, it will make low speed manoeuvres a little trickier, but I haven't noticed any difference so far.

I only barely managed to fit the 17 tooth sprocket with the stock chain. You (well, I) wouldn't think that such a small difference in the sprocket would tighten the chain up by so much, but it does. Even with the axle fully forwards, I couldn't get the front sprocket on with the chain on it, or the chain over it while it was fitted. I had to take the chain off the back sprocket, fit the front sprocket and chain, engage the chain on to the top rear sprocket then turn the rear wheel to wrap it fully round. It was touch and go, but once it was all on, there seems to be enough slack in the chain. Weird.

Next up, an after-market coil and HT lead.

I'm buying the marketing here: I have no objective grounds for believing that this unit is superior to the stock coil and lead. However, there are two things to bear in mind:

It's very unlikely to be worse.
It's red and orange, so it must be inherently faster...

Subjectively, the bike did feel smoother on my commute this morning, although (especially with the 17 tooth sprocket) I wasn't reaching the revs where a stronger spark should make a difference.

I should give the coil a good exercise on its own, but this afternoon, a new CDI ("POSH" branded, as recommended by a few Chinese Bike Forum posters) turned up, and I couldn't resist plugging it in.

Purty! It comes with a 4+2 rounded GY6 plug socket, so I've also bought a converter to the square 4+2 STD plug on the HN125-8. It's much bigger than the standard CDI, so has to nestle down the side of the under-seat area. At the top right here (where the old CDI was) you can see the accursed side-stand switch. I'm retaining it just in case it gets added to the MOT regs. I was watching Long Way Down, and was amused to see Ewan McGregor's BMW pimpmobile immobilise itself due to a defective side stand switch. On the advice of BMW UK, he just chopped it off and twisted all the wires together. Proper job!

Wait, did I say "Huonaio"? I meant "Reliant", of course.

Leave me alone - I'm in my Happy Place.

That's pretty pimp, right there

2009-05-02T18:58:00.011+01:00

I think we're just about there as far as outer-wear goes.

That's the bike with a Pioneer Nevada front mudguard on - cheers to Llexeter for a next-day delivery when they finally sourced it - and rear crash bars.

That's two gambles that paid off. The mudguard is sized for the slightly smaller and not quite-so slightly wider 110/90 16 tyre that's fitted to the 125 Harley clones. In the event, it fits just fine over the Huonaio 3.25 18 wheel, but not quite so fine between the forks. I had to wiggle it in this way and that way to get it in place, and it's compressed just a little. It also needs to sit above the mounts on the HN125. I briefly considered cutting up the stock mudguard that I'd removed, but was struck with a rare attack of common sense: what if I couldn't get the Nevada guard fitted? Instead, I just fabbed up some brackets from... well.. I considered chopping up one of the missus' baking trays, but I have to admit that the mounts currently holding the guard on are made of a re-purposed tin of Quality Street covered in black Japlac. As an aside, this is an amazing paint; even when put on with a stiff scraggly brush, it spreads out into a lovely even coat. I'm slightly tempted to see if it can give a smooth coat on the tank and panels without resorting to 25 coats of wafffer thin spray paint. Slightly tempted.

The rear crash bars are 20 year old "new on the shelf" Britax branded bars labelled as being for a Honda CM200 T, in nice condition for their age. The brackets on the end of the bars rotate, which would allow them to fit a variety of bikes, and they went on the Huonaio no problem at all, attaching to the top suspension mounts, and the pillion footrests. They'd get in the way of a pillion rider's foot, but since The Man won't let me carry a pillion anyway, that's not a problem. They also make putting the bike on the centre stand a little more difficult, and can catch a trailing leg when pulling away, but I can live with that for the added protection from a drop or side impact. Plus... more chrome. Mmmm, chrome.

As the final touch, I fleaBayed some decal injket paper and printed up some labelling to cover up the Huoniao logos on the tank and side panels, to confound interested onlookers. I swithered over a DOOP logo, or War Rocket Ajax, but in the end I had to revert to type. The tank now sports an "Ad Astra per Aspera" Starfleet logo from one of those fictional Star Trek series, and the side panels boats a portentous name... the Reliant. Nobody - nobody - tell my daughter why she's called Miranda.

With the bike set up just so (the chain needed half a turn of tightening), I went for a jaunt today just for larks. About 40km - whatever that is in real money - across some gently windy A roads (the old, safe bit of the A77) and then back over the B764 Eaglesham moors road. Interesting road; it's a full width road which since it was bypassed is now marked out as "single track with passing places", with wide "cycle" tracks on either side. In practice this just means that road traffic going both ways does a little 60mph shimmy as it meets. Since our little Chinese bikes can easily sneak down a cycle lane, it's a fun ride. Later, I indulged in an outing on the local dual carriageways.

On this run, the bike's strengths and limitations become clear. It's a joy to ride, stable and composed at anything up to 50mph. Note the up to. When trying to achieve more than that, the vvviiibbbrrraaatttiiiooonnnsss start to come in. Nothing overly unpleasant while riding, but my feet were tingling when I got off! Any kind of uphill gradient, even a gentle one, quickly eats into the top speed, putting it more in the indicated 40-50mph bracket. On the straight, an indicated 60mph is easy enough, and downhill with a tailwind sees close to an indicated 70mph. The "tailwind" thing isn't trite; on little bikes like this, the wind is a significant factor.

Something that becomes apparent is that while the maximum power is at 8500 rpm, you only get that power if you get to that rev range. Easy to say, but the understanding only comes with experience. If the road conditions - incline, headwind - produce more drag than the power produced at (e.g.) 6000 rpm, then the bike won't get to 6001 rpm. The bike has more to give, it just can't give it.

That's perhaps more negative than it sounds. I was pleasantly surprised by how well the bike performed on the local dual carriageway. I was actually able to overtake cars past an indicated 50mph. Cautiously, carefully, I hasten to add, but the bike can do it when needs be: it's a 125, but it's a geared 125, not a scooter.

It was a lovely day, and the biking brotherhood was out in force. Many nods were exchanged - I do love a good biker nod - and on a supermarket stop off, I parked up next to a lovely red Jinlun JL-11. I'd be the first to say that Jinnys, Nevadas and the other Chinese Harleys (Charleys?) are absolutely gorgeous bikes with really consistent accessorising, but I don't feel that plonking the Huonaio next to the Jinny let the side down. I now have a custom "Custom" bike that is genuinely unique.

And I'm absolutely loving it.

Reverse the polarity of the neutron flow!

2009-04-24T22:40:00.006+01:00

I'm about done mucking around with LED bulbs. I like the idea in principle, but they have some serious problems in practice:

The don't give as much light as an equivalent sized incandescent. Yes, more light per watt drawn, perhaps more light in one narrow direction, but less overall light output per mount.
Because the power draw, and thus resistance, is lower, they can't be used as indicator bulbs without adding ballast resistors. I can't be doing with that, since it would complicate retro-fitting incandescents.
They're polarity-dependent, which can be an issue if the light fitting is bass ackwards.

This last is an issue because the small spots that I bought came with... wait for it... 6v bulbs, much as the Pilgrims must have used. I didn't notice this until they burned out, so I bought 12v LEDs to replace them. Mistake. The light from that size (MES) of LED bulb is very dim, plus in a double-whammy, the spots have a weird polarity: -ve/ground is connected to the centre contact, rather than to the bulb body, but the LEDs I got are sanely polarised and thus don't work. I managed to short a connection while testing this and blew my fuse. Credit to our Chinese chums: the Huonaio comes with a spare fuse inside the fuse holder, but I'll have to remember to get a replacement spare.

For reference, the bike and its electrics do actually work just fine without a fuse, with the power coming directly from the generator - it just needs kick started.

So I've got some regular MES 5W bulbs on fleaBay order. While I was there, I've taken another gamble on some 20 year old (but unused) rear crash bars for a Honda CM200 T, which I nabbed at a good price. The seller indicated that the sizing is adjustable (by rotating the mounts) so I'm optimistic that they'll fit. I can't remember the last time - or ever - that I saw a bike with rear bars fitted, so this is getting pretty Custom.

And as if by magic, LLExeter (Chinese Motorcycle Parts Online) called me back a full 2 weeks after I ordered a Pioneer mudguard, to say that they'd sourced one, in black rather than black and silver, complete with a scuff mark and accompanying discount. I'm happy to take it, since it may not fit anyway, and if it does, then I'm seriously considering a paint job for the bike.

I found that I liked the cheapo B-Square open-face helmet so much that I got the wife to gift me a Nitro retro openface helmet, in nice visible white.

It comes with a swappable visor and sun peak, has a medium-sized shell on a medium-sized inner, and I absolutely love it. One thing I've noticed is that wearing an open face makes me feel more vulnerable - like riding a pedal cycle - so I look around more, a task made easier by the lighter weight. I strongly believe that bike safety is more about visibility and accident avoidance than protection. That's not to say that I don't armour up, but not at the expense of feeling over-protected and complacent.

Before going for the retro, I popped into the local bike emporium to try on a Nitro X512 open face first, and really liked that too. To be honest, it's a more practical helmet, since the visor and sun peak can be on at the same time, with the visor fully flippable under the peak, giving the best of both worlds.

In the end though, practicality took a back seat to style. I just love the look of the retro. Yes, I've turned into that sort of biker.

All is proceeding as I have foreseen

2009-04-21T13:20:00.004+01:00

No posts for a while, since nothing has happened to the bike. Nothing has dropped off, disintegrated, exploded, or vanished into a parallel dimension. It's very strange.

I did have an oopsie when the bike missed, spluttered then ground to a halt on a hill. A frantic checklist finally revealed the problem: out of fuel. Oops. Apparently 100mpg doesn't mean that it runs forever on one tank. A flip to reserve and we were off again.

A back-of-the-envelope calculation reveals that was 320km on approximately 9 litres of fuel (I didn't fill it up initially), which is as near as makes no difference 100mpg. I expect that'll get a little better as the engine runs in, but I'm more than happy with that. I should get 350km+ out of a full tank, before reserve.

On the modding front, I added an auxiliary LED brake light on the top of my toolbox-topbox, but I managed to snap it while fitting, and it disintegrated while I was riding. I liked it so much though that I've ordered another. Further gearing changes can wait until the bike is run in - the 16 tooth sprocket gives it just enough extra that an indicated 50mph isn't a chore and (indicated) 60mph is achievable in short bursts without thrashing the engine.

While I remember, be cautious about believing any fleaBay seller flogging LED bulbs as R10W indicator replacements. Unless they want to tell you what the resistance is, I'd suggest that they're vanishingly unlikely to be plug-in replacements.

When I said I'd ordered a Pioneer Nevada front mudguard, I thought I had, but after acknowledging the initial order, Chinese Motorcycle Parts Online apparently can't be bothered communicating with me at all regarding the reason for not sending it, or their stock situation regarding alternative parts. I expect a phone call would sort it out, but I don't really want the part that much. I'm not sure if they understand the principle that click-to-buy encourages impulse buys - but only if you actually service your online orders.

For the record, the bike's first scheduled oil change at 300km was done at 330km - but was actually its third change. Once at 0km, again at 100km. I take de-swarfing pretty seriously. I should now let it get to 1000km before the next oil change, but I don't know if I can bear to leave it that long...

The plug looks fine at 300km, so I think I've got the fuel mixture about right. Although I could and may buy a combustion tester; for those who haven't seen one, it's effectively a spark plug with a window that lets you see the colour of the combustion in the cylinder. I have a car-sized one from the Ancient Olden Days, and expect if I find the right combination of Googlisms then I can source a smaller one, even though we're living in the Future now.

Replacing the sprocket

2009-04-13T13:32:00.016+01:00

MagicMan over at Chinese Bike Forum was asking about changing the front sprocket, so here's some images to try and explain it. I'd imagine the process will be very similar for most chain driven bikes.

I fitted a 428 16 tooth sprocket from Xian Racing. They also do a 17 tooth sprocket, which I intend to try as well; I think this engine would be well suited to it.

First, slacken off the rear axle nut, circled in yellow here. The hex head circled in red is one of the axle adjustment / chain tensioning bolts.

Then if you're fitting a larger sprocket, you'll need to slacken off the chain. You can do this now or later, once you get the old sprocket off.

This is done by moving the axle forwards, for which you'll need to loosen off both adjustment bolts, then nudging (kicking, rubber malleting...) the rear wheel forwards. Take care to count the number of turns that you make so that you keep them both even!

I think I had to loosen them about 20 'flats' (i.e. about 3 or 4 full revolutions) per side, but it may be more. It'll entirely depend on how tight your chain was to begin with; checking chain tension is something that you'll want to do regularly anyway.

Now remove the sprocket cover. This is located above the left footrest. There are 2 bolts to undo, one at the top, and one underneath, right next to the gear change shaft. A socket with a universal joint and extender bar is very handy here!

The cover then lifts off easily. Under it is the sprocket. It's held in place by a retaining shim and two bolts. Put the bike in gear to stop the engine turning and undo these bolts...

Then you'll need to rotate the shim so that the holes line up with the splines on the sprocket. It can take a little fingernail-fiddling to get it lined up, but once it's oriented correctly, it should come off without the need to lever it.

Then the sprocket just slides off the spline, and you can take it out and replace it.

Fitting is just the opposite of removal. Put your new sprocket on; if it's a larger one, then you'll have to slacken off the rear axle adjusting bolts and knock the wheel forwards until you can get the sprocket onto the spline, or the chain to go over the sprocket.

Then the shim slides back on and rotates around until you can get the bolts back in. Don't push it too far on, or it won't rotate; just slide it on until it does rotate, then get it aligned.

The cover should pop back on easily, then it's just a matter of checking the chain tension, which you'll likely have to increase: tighten the adjusting bolts, by the same number of turns each side, until the chain is tight. There should be about 1/2" (10-15mm) of vertical movement in the middle of its length. Once you're happy, tighten up the lock-nut at the front of each adjuster bolt until it's secure.

Then remember to tighten up the rear axle bolt!

Finally, adjust the tension in the rear brake. If the axle has had to come forward to fit a larger sprocket, then there will be some slack in the rear brake. Adjusting it is just a matter of turning the knurled nut on the back to take the slack out. It helps if you press the lever forwards to take all the tension out, then turn the nut until it's tight. Due to the shape of the nut, there will be some slack when you release the lever, just enough to stop the brake binding.

Blurry sloppy photography, but hopefully you get the idea.

Last check: you did tighten up the adjuster bolt lock-nuts and the rear axle bolt, right?

Let there be lights!

2009-04-11T18:08:00.005+01:00

Can you see a theme emerging? I like lights. I like lights a lot.

These are a couple of cheapo fleaBay spots that (only) just fit around the handlebars. The stock clamps wouldn't fit on the forks, but I wanted them up high anyway. I had to bend the mounts to get them to point forwards, but that's just more Custom.

I went for a jaunt today to buy a neck warmer and some thermal lining gloves, via a 60mph dual carriageway. The Huoniao quite happily hit an indicated 60 for a brief downhill period, before I backed it off. We're talking a mile or so here: I'm still in Running In mode, but at 250km, I'm starting to let the bike get a sniff of its top speed, in short controlled bursts. Bear in mind that I'm running about 7% under-revved; I definitely want to try a 17 tooth sprocket next, which should be a 13% reduction in RPM from stock.

Hmmm... what next? The Nevada mudguard is on order, so... top box?

I could fleaBay one from anything from £29 to £50 or so for a big double box or... isn't it just a box? So couldn't I just bolt a big cheap toolbox on the rack and padlock it?

I'm betting that I can. Shall we find out?

An indication of problems ahead?

2009-04-10T08:37:00.005+01:00

Today, the right rear indicator has given up the ghost. It may just be an early blown bulb, or it may be a loom issue like those encountered by both Elvgren and Lincoln DoD. Having read about that, I did cable-tie the loom into the front securing clip, so I'll be surprised if that's the issue, but I've been known to be wrong.

Also, made my first adjustment to the clutch this morning. The biting point was very high, so I slackened off the adjuster. I guess it's better to have the cable tight to begin with, as it'll likely slacken in use.

Oh, I've gone a bit Custom again and ordered a black and silver front mudguard for a Pioneer Nevada (a straight Harley clone). The Pioneer front wheel is a 110/90 16, the same size as the Huoniao's rear wheel, so I'm fairly confident that it's only 1" smaller in diameter (.5" radius) than the Huonaio's front wheel, and very slightly broader. I've measured up the forks and mounts and convinced myself that I can make it fit tolerably enough if I fab up some brackets. But then I've been known to be wrong. A lot.

Further bulletins as events warrant.

[UPDATE]

Blown bulb. Ah well, nothing exciting. I've checked the cable run anyway, and it seems OK.

The local petrol station couldn't come up with an R10W bulb, so I've bought a couple of R5Ws for emergency use, and fleaBayed 4 R10W LED bulbs which should hopefully outlast the bike.

I am tha Nite Ryda

2009-04-08T22:11:00.008+01:00

The 428 16T sprocket from Xian arrived today, and fitting went smoothly. I was surprised how many turns I had to take off the axle adjustment screws to fit the larger sprocket, but I think I managed to keep them even when I tightened the chain back up. The fact that I'm posting this from the sofa rather than a ditch bears witness to that.

By that time, it was 9:30 in the PM, and time for my first night ride. Shhhh... don't wake the sprogs or neighbours with the electric start. Fortunately, the bike is set up so nicely now that it started sweetly on the second kick. And then we were creeping off into the all concealing shadows.

Wow. Double wow.

The 16 tooth sprocket makes a surprisingly noticeable difference to the gearing. The engine is torquey and pulls well from low revs, so it seems to make sense to let it slap rather than scream. 5000 rpm (the notional running-in limit) in 5th gear now result in about 2 more of Her Majesty's Miles per Greenwich Standard Hour, up from 30 to 32. It doesn't sound like a huge improvement, but it's the difference between slightly holding up traffic and comfortably keeping up with it, and it should also result in 60mph at the same rpm that would have yielded 56mph on the 15 tooth sprocket. Given the low cost of these sprockets, I may even give a 17 toother (60mph from 53mph Old Money revs) a try once I've got the bike run in a little more.

The other zowie is the Xenon 50W/50W "blue white" bulb, of "upside down" fame; this was my first opportunity to see it doing its stuff in the dark. It's now producing a sensible spread, and the light level is genuinely impressive, and very nearly white. I actually had to pull over to adjust the headlight down a fraction, for fear of blinding other traffic. The missus confirms that it's highly visible in daylight traffic as well. So if you've got a bike, any bike, and are running on anything other than Xenon, then do yourself a favour and splash out all of £8 on one of these. It's cheaper than most other hi-vis aids that you could invest in.

Finally, the verdict on the "inside-out" K&N filter is that it seems to let enough air in - the bike went to 7200rpm / indicated 50mph without a hiccup - and results in just a hint of "classic" growl at large throttle openings. I reckon I'll keep it.

The only downer on the day is that the clods at Adrian Flux / Bikesure have lost the copies of my license(s) that I sent them. The joy of being a pessimist is that I fully expected this, so I can just sigh and crank out (several) more copies rather than lose the rag over it. Rain on my parade? Not today, pen pushers.

Screens up!

2009-04-08T12:49:00.005+01:00

... but structural integrity failing.

With the blustery winds we've been having ~~lately~~ forever, I felt that the Huoniao needed a screen. I dithered and swithered, then ordered a Jinlun JL-11 screen, which has a classic cruiser shape. However, it had two disadvantages. One, the lower mounts probably wouldn't have fitted the Huoniao, and two, it was out of stock and I couldn't get it.

Being both impatient and tight, I instead went for a "PUIG Universal Mini Sports Touring Motorcycle Screen", in tinted. I'd have gone clear, but they were out of stock.

The image above shows the screen fitted to the Huoniao, prior to replacing the bolted on front L plate with a stickied-on floppy one on the screen. I've also tilted it a little more towards the vertical. It looks OK, but looks can be deceptive - even at its bargain basement price, I couldn't recommend this screen for the Huoniao.

It's designed for 8" headlights, and the Huonaio has a 7". I couldn't find this info anywhere, but should have checked before ordering. It does bend in to fit the headlight brackets, but at the cost of slight starring in the perspex around the mounts. I've duck taped over them and refuse to think about what's happening sight-unseen. The other issue is that the mounting bracket is made of very soft metal, and got chewed up a bit while bolting it on. It seems secure enough just bolted to the headlight, but only time will tell.

On the bright side, it does seem to be keeping the worst of the wind off of me, so I can't fault it there. I'll see how it works out.

Which reminds me, I said I'd report on the Windjammer that I fitted to my helmet. On balance, I'd recommend it; it does keep some noise and drafts out. However, it doesn't keep out all wind noise, so it's not, repeat not, a replacement for ear plugs.

While I was buying mis-sized parts, I also got a 42mm K&N air filter from Xian. I'd roughly measured up the carb intake, but this filter is just a little too big. [UPDATE: a 42mm filter fits the carb just fine, I just needed to cowboy up and clamp it on properly]. Also, to fit a filter like this, it's necessary to take the whole airbox out, disconnecting the two breathers plugged into it. Unfortunately, the air box forms the backing for the battery, so if I took the box out, I've have to find some way of securing the battery, a task made harder by the filter slightly fouling the front battery mount.

So instead, I tried something a bit Custom. I removed the air filter inlets and took off the foam cylinder. It turns out that the 42mm filter is a perfect fit over the inner inlet (with a sort of funnel inlet leading to a cylinder). Unfortunately, it can't be fitted directly onto that without some... modification. It's hacksawing time!

Quicker than you can say "Shouldn't you think about this...", I'd hacksawed the plastic cage off of the outer inlet, and most of the cylinder off of the inner one. I then re-attached the inner inlet, clamped the filter onto the end of the truncated cylinder, and replaced the whole inlet onto the air box.

Bearing in mind that the filter is fitted in "reverse", I had no idea how well this would work. In the event, it... works. The caveat is that sharply blipping the throttle from a low idle will stall the engine, but a smooth throttle works just fine. I haven't done enough distance to claim that it's improved the running, but I just don't like the big thick foam filter fitted as standard, and am happier with it out. Note that even with the butchering to the inlets, I could still refit it, by sandwiching the lip between the two inlets.

That'll likely require some re-balancing of the mixture, which I've been nudging around by a 1/4 turn to try and optimise. I've also re-done the valve clearances - I'd misgapped one of them, and curiously, you can hear that it's just one that's off - and reduced the gap on the spark plug slightly from 0.8mm to 0.7mm, since the bike was missing slightly when I pushed it (very briefly) to the heady heights of 50mph.

The next mod was the much vaunted 16 tooth front sprocket, which will reduce the revs required to hit warp speed. Again though, my measuring failed me. I bought a 428 16T for "17mm shafts". However, after removing the sprocket cover (held on by two fairly obvious chromed nuts), it transpired that the hole in the centre of this sprocket is too small for the Huonaio. I've ordered a a larger 428 16T from Xian, and await its arrival.

While I was mucking with the sprocket and chain, I took the time to tighten the chain up a little. It's just a matter of loosening off the rear axle bolt slightly, then turning both adjuster bolts by the same amount on each side (then locking them off again). The wheel still looks (and feels) straight, but I haven't done a string test yet.

Well, I need to leave myself something else to work on...

April showers

2009-04-04T14:47:00.009+01:00

What's on the agenda today? My first wet run, on the infamous ~~Kenda~~ Manlung nylons. But first: some unnecessary maintenance!

I changed the oil at 0km just to get the stock unknown out. However, I couldn't get the oil filter out, so now at the heady 100km mark, I decided to do another change to get any initial swarf out. I'm still on Halford's 10W40 semi synthetic motorcycle oil, which should be more than good enough for this 35 year old engine.

After a run to get the engine hot, I drained the oil and set about the filter plug with my new multi-sided 23mm socket, which was all that B&Q had available. It rubbed almost immediately! Rotational impact, heat, rustola, nothing shifted the plug. It just rubbed and rubbed, even when I bashed a 22mm spanner onto it. The Chinese Bike Forum provided the helpful info that this plug is aluminium, not steel. Aaargh!

In the end, brute force and ignorance won out. After another liberal dose of penetrating oil, running a butane torch around the join again, ~~smacking the bejeesus out of~~ firmly tapping the plug around the rim, towards the engine, hammering the 22m spanner firmly back on again and then delivering a mighty whack to the end of it, the plug finally gave up the struggle and shifted.

Lesson learned: if you get a bike with this engine, find yourself a hexagonal 23mm socket. Don't waste your time - and your plug corners - with a multi-sided socket. It'll just end in tears... and barked knuckles, burned fingers...

The filter was mostly clear, although it had a few tiny scraps of what looked like plastic wrap in it. Other owners have reported this as well, although I can't think what it is or how it got in there. Ah well, it's out now, and the filter plug replaced with some copper grease and a sane amount of torque.

Next, valve clearances. Following the great instructions at that link, I got the valves exposed in no time. The CG125 owners' site agrees that the clearances for both valves should be 0.08mm (0.003 inches). Unfortunately, my cheapo feeler gauges only go down to 0.1mm, so I adjusted (loosely) to that. Skipping ahead to the ride, it was clearly too much: the valves were audibly buzzy. So I re-did them by hand, adjusting them to the 0.1mm feeler, then giving them another small turn and checking that the feeler wouldn't quite go in (but that there was still a gap!). Even with this tiny difference, the valves were much quieter. In fact, they were probably set just fine to begin with by the factory. Ah well, now I know they're definitely OK. Approximately definitely.

Since the rain was tipping down, I decided that it was time to have the side stand switch out. Rather than cutting it out and splicing the wires, I just unbolted the switch, cut the cable tie under the bike holding the cabling and plug in place, pulled the cabling up and fed it through under the seat. The whole assembly, switch and all, now lives in there, still greased up. I even cable tied tightly around the switch shaft so that it couldn't somehow become depressed. That should be that, hopefully. Now when the bike strands me in the middle of nowhere, it should be for some other reason.

One last thing before the ride: I couldn't resist the urge to fiddle with the air filter. The air box is under the left hand side panel. There's an inner 40mm-ish inlet letting in to a larger cylinder with a thick foam filter around it. Air is then drawn forwards from the space around this foam filter into the carb.

First things first, take all the filters out. Wow. Blat-blat-blat, goes the bike, very "classic". But we can't run like that, so I put the big cylinder with the foam filter back in, but left out the 40mm centre inlet. As far as I can see, all the air still has to go through the foam filter, but there's a little bit more growl under throttle. Utterly pointless, but then, so is the bike.

I'll leave it like that for now, but I've got a 43mm K&N filter on order which I can either attach straight onto the carb (removing the air-box) or perhaps even place over the box-inlet, removing the foam cylinder. I'll try to get some pictures of all this in order for it to make half an ounce of sense.

Finally, we're ready for the road. In a steady but not torrential rain, I set off. The back wheel definitely did twitch slightly while pulling away from a sharp bend heading downhill, but for the rest of the ride I was super-cautious and it behaved itself just fine. Still, it did twitch, so better tyres are on the list of things to get sooner rather than later.

Oh look, the sun's out now. And I forgot to get onions when I went out for my wet run, so... that's as much excuse as I need!

What Would MacGyver Do?

2009-04-01T22:34:00.013+01:00

First he'd pre-empt future issues by fitting a fuel filter, cunningly using twisted garden wire to clamp the lines:

Mind, he'd have to cut the fuel line carefully to get the filter to point slightly downwards, or else he might not get enough fuel through.

Then he'd take the headlight off, and discover this rat's nest of cabling. This is going to be an Issue later, he'd think:

He'd then replace the standard bulb with the aforementioned 50W/50W 7500K blue-white Xenon bulb, and then he'd compare the before and after brightnesses and colour:

I bet he'd be pretty impressed with the difference!

But then he'd notice that - oops - the new bulb has the dipped and full beam reversed, so that dipped produces a (vertically) higher beam than full. What to do, what to do...

He'd check the bulb, and discover that it has anti-Murphy's Law tabs that stop it being inserted the wrong way - or perhaps the right way in this case. So he'd nip a bit off one tab and reverse the bulb.

Or would he? Well, perhaps not, because he'd likely realise that this would throw out a bad light pattern. Those of us without a scriptwriter have to find that out by trial and error. Most likely he'd skip straight to putting the bulb back in the way the fitting wants it, then unbolt and rotate the whole headlight 180 degrees, wilfully ignoring the "top" and "bottom" markings, and fit a small greased bolt through the lower drain hole which is now at the top.

Hmm, he'd say, that seems to be better. The dipped beam is throwing a lower light, but a broader spread, which might be wrong, but is likely to make the bike more visible from a wider angle to the front, which is the goal of the current exercise.

Then he'd shrug and leave it for now until he could figure out whether there was another type of "BA20D" bulb, although there doesn't seem to be. It's a puzzler.

Finally, he'd perform some rubber mallet adjustment on the crash bars for a Jinlun 125 RS to narrow the lower mounting brackets very slightly, and discover that they then fit the Huonaio just beautifully, bolting through the upper of the two existing bolts at the bottom of the frame, then clamping neatly to it without pinching any cabling.

Result!

[UPDATE]

In the re-edit, MacGyver had a crisis of confidence about the headlight. Suddenly, he was struck with a blinding flash of the obvious! Quick! Back to the MacGarage!

With one - OK, two - manly spins of the socket set, the headlight was rotated back to the correct orientation. With the new bulb still in the "right" way round, the dipped and full beam settings produced exactly the opposite of the desired lighting.

The solution: just mentally reverse the switch, i.e. ride with the switch set on "full" beam.

[UPDATE to the UPDATE]

Then he'd realise that he could just swap the two bulb wires over. Amazingly, they're actually solidly soldered to the contacts, rather than just being spaded on, so he'd have to cut and strip the wires and then use a bit of chocolate-block to swap them over. On the bright side (pun fully intended) that will make it easier to swap them back in future, as well as making it fairly obvious what's been done.

[UPDATE to the UPDATE to the UPDATE]

In the post watershed edit, MacGyver swears like a wounded pirate as he realises that if he'd just traced the blue and white wires from the bulb up past the wrapped section of cable, he'd have found two plugs that can easily be switched over, without the need to insert or modify anything.

I think that now officially makes this bike "custom": PROPER JOB.

Toasty-warm engine, mmmm.

2009-03-31T19:38:00.006+01:00

Yesterday's mixture adjustment seems to have done the trick; the bike idles happily while warming and is more eager at low revs today. Damn, I'm running out of things to fiddle with; hopefully the bike will start acting up soon and provide some greasy-fingered entertainment.

I got around to fitting my Windjammer and gave it a spin:

It seems to do a decent job of keeping the noise down and excluding drafts, but then I didn't exceed 40... I mean 30 mph, so I don't yet know how it works at higher speeds. Also, there's a certain "birth canal" feeling to putting the helmet on, although spreading the 'jammer with the straps helps to get it over the ears. Verdict: qualified success, although I wouldn't say with certainty that it removes the need for earplugs. And if it doesn't, then is there really much point to it, especially in hot weather? We'll keep this under review.

And now the time comes for the pimping. First on the agenda is some crash bars, for visibility and road presence as much as crashworthiness. I haven't found any for the Huoniao, but from what I can make out, these bars are fairly generic: bolt-on mounts at the bottom of the frame (and the Huoniao has a bracket down there) and a U-clamp to hold them to the top of the frame.

So I've gambled on fleaBaying a set designed for a Jinlun 125 RS. It's a "sports" bike, but I'm going to go out on a limb and venture to suggest that most of these chinese CG-clone engined bikes use very similar frame geometries. For £20 delivered, I won't take a huge bath, and can likely sell it on if it doesn't fit. If it fits and takes the brunt of even one drop, then I'll come out ahead.

A Xenon (actual Xenon, not Halogen or "semi Halogen") BA20D 50W/50W 7500K bulb is also on its way, since the stock 35W/35W "yellow peril" bulb is a bit on the weedy side. I'm hoping that the extra 15W isn't going to strain the electrics. I'd rather charge the battery regularly than ride with dim lights though.

That'll do us for now, but a screen and tyres will doubtless follow soon. Recommendations welcome!

Into the blue, GOD DAMMIT

2009-03-30T22:14:00.003+01:00

Had a bit of a Moment today, trying to pull away in 2nd gear from a near standstill, slightly uphill, while the engine was still warming. Splutter, splutter, gag, stall.

Right, we're not having that. Off to the Honda CG 125 owners' site, which notes that the mixture on CGs is set very lean to scam emissions regulations, something confirmed by forchetto over at the Chinese Bike Forum about the Chinese clones as well. This results in slow warming and hesitation under throttle, both of which I seem to be seeing (admittedly on short acquiantance).

Well, they both seem to be right. The mixture was way off, and the mixture screw needed to be opened (anticlockwise) 2 full turns to maximise the idle speed. A quick tweak of the idle screw brought the idle back down to 1500, although it does seem happier on the high side of that speed even when warm. We'll see how that works out tomorrow.

While we're at it, let's have that silly metal sheath off of the plug cap, before it starts shorting in the rain. It's not the 1970s, we're on FM now over in the West. Perhaps the Chinese have been taken over by Cylons who don't want any RF interference? You like this, toasters? Eat my EM pollution!

While I was fiddling, I gave the chain a dose of 3-in-1. It was already fairly well lubricated, but I shudder to think with what. Orphan plegm, most likely. The tension seems OK, but I'll keep an eye on that as well.

And after I rode off into the sunset...

2009-03-29T21:09:00.013+01:00

...the sun rose on a bright new Sunday, and I took the opportunity to hit the road and do what every biker dreams of: U turns and figure 8s. Yes, I'm that chap, the one that practices low speed control, even though I don't have to - I'm not bothered about passing the test, at least not in near future. A 125 is quite enough for me at the moment.

The little Huonaio behaved impeccably, being stable and easy to handle, even in the brisk gusty wind that chilled my hands in no time. Better gloves are in order, although I can probably tough it out for now. Strangely, my crotch also got frozen through my leather bondage trousers. There's a new experience.

Emergency stops happened without any fuss, although the brakes do have to work hard on steep downhill stretches. Gear changes were all fine, although I did fumble a few upshifts. However, I think that's more down to a lack of practice on my part rather than a mechanical issue.

The boring, important bits aside, how fast is it, you ask? Don't ask me, I'm running it in. Yes, I'm that chap as well. The 5000 rpm running-in redline yields an indicated 32 mph-ish, which, combined with confident road positioning (and a bit of "Look out - I may be a mental" weaving around) is just enough to keep Mondeo Man from trying any rash overtaking moves in 30 limits. OK, I may have nudged 6000 rpm, or 40 mph briefly while jaunting on an A-road. The bike feels perfectly happy at this speed, with the vibration just starting to creep in, although the mirrors seem stable enough. What matters is that the engine is torquey and willing, forgiving of being left in higher gears, and gets the bike up past 30mph quickly enough to get you into the traffic stream safely.

According to a nag-cam on the A-road, the speedo seems fairly accurate. If my calculations are correct, the max power at 8500 rpm would yield a road speed of 58mph or thereabouts. Depending which blurb you want to believe, the Huoniao claims a maximum speed of 90kpm or 56 mph. I'm not sure I'd want to hold it at 8500 for long, although properly run in it may not be a problem. Either way, I couldn't in all honesty argue the point that this bike is suitable for sitting a full 'A' test (i.e. 100kpm / 62.5mph), but then again, since it's got very similar mechanicals to the test-hack of choice, the Honda CG 125, perhaps more test examiners should actually ask to be shown that an 'A' test bike can hit and maintain 100kph on the level, hmm?

During my jaunt, biker nods were exchanged with a Harley pilot, and a quaddie. Do we nod to quads? Stuff it, I do. Anyone outside a cage gets the nod.

A few maintenance issues did crop up today. Huzzah! This is why I got the bike, so I actually relish them. The vibration loosened off the bolts holding on my rear L plates - I can hardly blame the Huonaio for that though, since I neglected to loctite them. My bad. Also, while attaching the tax disk holder to the clamp at the top of the offside suspension strut, I over-tightened the bolt and stripped the end of it, as you can (almost) see here.

This is in the "I should have expected that" category, since as any fool know, the Chinese use bolts made of straw and sparrow spit. A 8mm British bought coach bolt (doubtless made in China) replaced it. Washer, spring washer, loctite, goes the mantra. How much torque is needed on this bolt? About that much, I think. I'll keep an eye on it, but the same applies to all the other bolts as well.

Later, I went on a shopping trip, for which the bike was gifted the cheapskate soft panniers from my pedal-cycle. With a smidgin of adjustment, they clipped onto the side rails of the rear rack just fine, and feel pretty secure there. Not as pimp as saddle-bags, but probably more practical. Also, anything that makes the bike more visible and gives it a bit more presence has to be a good idea.

Now, maybe some bull-bars or a snow plough on the front?

Let's rolllllllll!

2009-03-28T21:11:00.014Z

Didn't I tell you that the chaps and chapettes at the DVLA were the salt of the earth? Didn't I tell you?

The "entitlement" document and tax disk arrived this morning, so off we went in search of a place that could make up a number plate. Local Halfords: out of stock. Local Autoparts: don't make bike plates. Hamilton Autoparts... score! Cons: they admitted that the plate was 4mm smaller than the DVLA regs. Pros: they made it up gave it to me gratis. Now that's customer service!

Still lacking a tax disk holder, I had to find an actual bike parts store. Armed with a satnav and a mobile connection to the wife, I finally tracked down J&S Accesories Ltd in Hamilton. Expecting some pokey hole-in-the-wall dive, I drove past it twice before finally realising that the big clean warehouse outlet was indeed "J&S". Wow, what a treasure trove. Acres of leather, cordura and carbon fibre bondage gear being sniffed and pawed by Mid Life Crisis Men and their familes. People Carriers parked outside: 10. Bikes parked outside: 0. Nice. With an "all items 20% off" discount, the prices were comparable with fleaBay, so I'll be back there, no doubt, in my next credit card billing month. I quite fancy some independent torso armour to go under my classic un-armoured leather jacket and hi-vis, or I may skip the layering and splash out for a hi-vis armoured leather jacket:

Anyway, we're nearly there. A quick detour to B&Q for assorted bolts and washers and such, the tax disk holder, number plate and rear L-plate were drilled and secured and then we're finally - finally - road legal. Give or take 4mm, I mean, but I can live with the illicit thrill.

And there's only one thing left to do: leathers, lid and gloves on, crank it up and... into the sunset, hoh!

Doc-Watch, day 3

2009-03-27T13:48:00.004Z

Absent any appearance of registration documents, all I can really do is document their non-appearance.

Given that the bike was registered on Tuesday 24th March 2009, every day since then when I can't use it is being stolen from me by faceless back office jobsworth Morlocks. Every half-hour of sunshine and dry weather - and in Jockland, every such period is a significant proportion of "Summer" - is missed riding time that I'll never get back.

I'm counting today, Friday, as day 3, since there is no good reason on God's clean earth why it should take more than a few hours - actually a few minutes - to check the documentation that I provided on Tuesday against the customs import records for the bike, and post out the reg number on the same day. Or even - gasp! - hand them out over the counter, as apparently used to be the way before the DVLA had to be expanded to keep more failed Burger King applicants out of the unemployment figures.

Does this really matter? Well, put it this way: if I started riding the bike today, and told the DVLA that I'd complete the paperwork and register it when it was convenient for me, would that be acceptable to them?

The prosecution rests.

Shady dealings

2009-03-25T22:42:00.002Z

No movement on the bike today - literally. Instead, I've been fiddling with my shiny helmet. Well, shiny helmets.

In anticipation of a glorious summer - scoff ye not - I've MacGyvered sun shades onto my helmets with cutting edge technology. By which I mean a pair of scissors used to cut some sticky tape.

The helmets here are a Marushin Tiger, which is the cheapest white full face helmet with a 5 star SHARP rating that I could find, and a £20 ZOMG NOT TEH B-SQUARE!!!1! open face with bare minimum ECE 22.05 (there are no open face helmets with SHARP ratings, surprise surprise) that I'll likely never wear unless I'm doing a 1/2 mile jaunt when it's hot enough out to melt the nylon tyres.

The strips are a full 50mm wide, and look like they'd cut visibility down significantly, but it's not so. From long years experience of wearing (tin) helmets, you use very little of your vertical field of view, and these sizes feel right when run through a rigorous sofa/TV interaction test. I'll start aggressively and trim them if I feel the need to look out for low flying aircraft, eagles or witches.

Thank you for calling Central Services

2009-03-24T14:11:00.001Z

Due to temporary staff shortages, Central Services cannot take service calls centrally. Have a nice day.

I can't make up mind whether Britain is using Nineteen Eighty-Four or Brazil as a template for our government.

Today was the trip to the DVLA, clutching a swathe of documents and cash. £70 covers the first registration fee (£55 for any vehicle) plus 1 year's road tax (£15, yay). All the documents from LS Imports seem in order, so I'm hoping that I won't be asked to bring the bike to a test centre for identification - a poster over at the Chinese Bike Forum was asked to do so.

I took a photo of the VIN plate, printed it out and slipped it into the document pile, but on reflection, the suspicious, bitter, hollow shells of people trapped in the bowels of the DVLA - mad love to all y'all - may view that as part of some shadowy sinister plot to confuse and confound them by being helpful. We'll see soon - or later - enough. It's all a mystery, really, since the desk zombies at the Glasgow DVLA answered all my questions with a stiff-lipped "Mon't mo", which I presume is DVLA-speak for "don't know."

In anywhere from 48 hours to 2 weeks, I should hear something from them. I'm beginning to see why folk might want to pay a premium to dealers to handle this sort of soul destroying paper shuffling. A little note to government - you know you're watching - about tight grasps: the reason why so many bikes are (apparently) unregistered or untaxed may not be that your procedures are too lax, but that they are so stringent that it's far simpler to just not bother. There are people on eBay happy to produce any number plate you want, no questions asked. Since the chances of being pulled over by a live copper are now next to nothing, you can see why it might be an attractive option to skip the tiresome and expensive paperwork, and become speed-tax-camera proof in the process.

Anyway, back to the bike. The NGK D8EA plug (thanks, Dave) went in, and the bike started up nicely. The stock plug is already a little sooty, which could just be because I've been doing a lot of cold starts on the choke, or it could be a rich mixture. I'll need to get it properly up to temperature before adjusting the mix though.

On the subject of starting, the bike seems happiest on half-choke and just a soupcon of throttle, then off the choke within a minute. This seems consistent with the other owners' reports that I've read.

One thing puzzles me though; why isn't the starter motor isolated by the engine cut-off? I spent a frustrating minute cranking the bike before realising that I'd nudged the isolator. I'll need to work on my mental checklist.

The tightening and greasing proceeds apace. Today I got all the bolts under the rear mudguard. There are two up high near the front that have square nuts on them that I couldn't easily get off, so I just added two spring washers and extra nuts (loctited, of course) on top.

There are three bolts at the back of the mudguard that hold the light cluster and number plate on; they were given spring washers and loctite, although the bolts are (surprisingly) grommeted through rubber bushes, and so may have stayed tight anyway. I did a quick pass down the sides of the bike, but everything there already seems tight. Maybe I got a Monday bike?

Then I came back to the sidestand cut-out switch, about which I'm in two minds. It does seem like a useful safety feature, but its connector block is in an insane position, right under the bike. I'll leave it on at least until I know that I won't be subject to any kind of DVLA inspection, then come back to it. In the meantime, I've pretty much encased the connector block in grease, and also greased the cut-out plunger and switch.

Finally, I put on a front L plate. eBay provided some nice metal ones, rather than the floppy flappers available at Halfords. There's a Huonaio badge at the front of the bike, just under the headlight. It's just pushed through two rubber bushes, and pops out, leaving two handy holes ideal for bolting a plate to. The holes are quite big, but luckily I'd kept the 8mm bolts from the shipping frame (tight Scotchman, d'ye ken?) which worked a treat. I did have to unbolt the horn temporarily to get access; it got the obligatory spring washer on re-attachment.

One observation that I made was that while the headlight appears to be aligned fine vertically, it looks to be diverting the beam slightly to the right rather than the left. Tsk, tsk, naughty Jiangmen Dihao Motorcycle Company Ltd. Still, if I'm blinding drivers, at least they'll see me. On that subject, I'm not going to be blinding anyone with the stock glow-worm bulb, so a brighter bulb is on the list of things to get. I haven't yet taken the headlight apart to figure out the part yet: I hope it's one that's available to civilised man.

[Update]
Someone seems to have taken the bike (insured and registered in my name with the DVLA, I hasten to add) out for a slightly extended U-turn. It looks like the L plate is fouling the front mudguard when the weight is on the forks. Lesson learned: check things with the bike on and off the stand.

The rider here is 5'6" in his or her stocking feet: it should be clear from that that the Huonaio is a neat little bike. It's significantly smaller than a Jinlun-11 125, and ~~about the same size as~~ slightly smaller than the (now sadly defunct) Honda CG125 that I did my CBT on. The low centre of gravity makes it feel stable, and though it supposedly masses 130kg dry, it's quite possible to turn the bike just by lifting the back end and heaving it around into position. A bit like the wife, really.

And now we play the waiting game

2009-03-21T18:46:00.000Z

... ah, the waiting game sucks.

I now have a working motorcycle in my garage. "Ride meeeeeee", it whispers, "ride me nowwwwww".

"I'd love to," I reply, "but The Man won't let me. I need to fill in a 27B-6 first."

Specifically, I need to register the bike as new and get a registration number. Apparently back in the day, a chap's word was his bond, but then came the welfare state, immigration (what have the Romans ever done for us?), plagues of zombies, and general churlishness. Now we're all guilty until proven innocent, and one has to kowtow in person to some surly beancounter at the local DVLA and evoke the precise incantations to magic up a registration.

LS Imports appear to have sent the correct documents for the bike, so I just need insurance documents. They showed up today, Saturday. The insurance was taken out on Wednesday morning. This is shoddy. I expected them on Thursday, Friday at the latest. Saturday is practically a new epoch. For that reason alone, I'll actively seek a different insurer next year. Yes, this matters.

While I wait for the beaurocracy to grind fine, I've been fiddling with the bike. The rear brake pedal seemed to be positioned slightly low, so I rotated it up slightly. It's on a splined shaft, and just needs one bolt slackened off. A spring washer and loctite were added on reattachment.

After that, I liberally greased every electrical connector that I could find. Prevention is better than cure; specifically, it's better than tracking electrical gremlins with a multimeter.

The one connector I left alone was the infamous sidestand cutout. There's a connector right under the bike, which is going to corrode. The whole switch and cabling is definitely coming out ASAP. I want to get the multimeter on it first to find out what all the wires do though.

Around then, my brother turned up to scoff, but the Huonaio worked its magic. He's just bought a 20 year old Porsche Carrera which needed £3.5K of work done on it right away, and now needs a £5K engine rebuild. Against that, the £550 Hounaio is pocket change. After I remembered to switch the fuel tap on, the bike fired up nicely, and warmed up rapidly. It was idling a little slow, but five seconds of adjustment on the idle screw (the horizontal sprung screw on the offside of the carb) sorted that.

At that point, someone may have been compelled to take the bike for a (very) short romp to the end of the road and back. That person reported that the bike was running just fine, up to 3rd gear and back down again.

Since that counted as its first road run, and it was up to temperature (as proven by the clouds of ACF-50 burning off) I was persuaded to change the stock oil. The sump plug came out easily and the warm oil was ejaculated. It looked tolerable enough, although perhaps a little milky. Better to have something quality controlled in it though, so after leaving it to drain for a good hour - while I went to buy a copy of my long-since-lost CBT to send to the insurer - I popped in 1 litre of Halford's 10W-40 semi synthetic motorcycle oil.

I would have taken out the oil filter, but the plug wasn't for playing. It appears to be 23mm, a really weird size for which I don't have an appropriate spanner or socket. 22mm won't fit and 24mm rubbed. I got an adjustable wrench on it, but no matter how tight I adjusted it, it rubbed. Ouch. I guess I'll be buying a 23mm socket then, although I can see it being a monkey-wrench job at some point.

Later, someone took the bike for another U turn and reported that it sounded and felt slightly smoother, although that may have been cognitive dissonance. Regardless, I'd still suggest changing the oil ASAP on any new bike. It's just not worth skimping on.

eBay is providing an NGK D8EA spark plug and metal L-plates. Now I really do just need reg plates and I'm on the road. Reportedly the DVLA used to issue a reg number on the spot, but now they make you wait 48+ hours for the paperwork. We'll find that out - and report on't, have no doubt - on Tuesday.

Unboxing day!

2009-03-18T19:35:00.001Z

After ordering my bike-in-a-box from LS Imports (aka Asia Motorcycle), everything went smoothly. I called them on the morning of Friday 13th March 2009, and spoke to a nice chap called Drew who took the order. He couldn't spell Huonaio either.

Delivery was promised for Wednesday 18th March, which isn't next day, or even 48 hour, but it's perfectly reasonable for shipping a heavy crate from Portsmouth, Englandland to Glasgow, Scotchland. All I cared about was a reliable date.

And it was reliable. The local delivery outfit called on the Tuesday to confirm delivery, and promised "late morning to mid-day". At 10:30 am on Wednesday 18th, the lorry pulled up outside, while I was on the phone sorting out insurance.

Let's detour to that. Finding an insurer for a Chinese bike does seem to be a bit of a lottery. Rampdale insurance - no link for them - list the Huoniao, but charge fairly usurious rates. Still, they'll insure you. Carole Nash insurance had to do a bit of searching, and only found one underwriter (Red Star) who would cover it, and only 3rd party at that. My phone cut off before we got to the quote.

So I ended up going with Bikesure (aka Adrian Flux) who found a 3PF&T policy for £142 including personal injury cover. Not as cheap as I'd like, but it'll do for a first-year price. Covering a chassis number was no problem, and the documents should be on the way.

And another detour to documents. The paperwork for the HN125 turned up on Tuesday 17th - posted 2nd class, the cheap baskets - and all look to be in order. There's a certificate of conformity, an import document, and a V55/4 all pre-filled in as promised. I should just need an insurance document (plus my driving license) to get the bike registered as new.

OK... back to the bike, which I'm helping the truck-monkey wheel into the garage as I wrap up with Bikesure. The pallet is about 6' high - the bike is standing vertical - and just squeaks under the garage door. The trunk-monkey says that bikes used to be delivered horizontally, but it costs more, so he's seeing them vertical now. He opines that it can't have any oil in it. I disagree. I later find out that I'm right, and it's nicely full of oil, which I'll be changing after its first road run.

Looking inside, everything seems to be in place, so I sign for it and I'm left alone with my new toy.

It's the work of a moment to cut away the cardboard outer, exposing a bike bolted to a frame. The frame is a little beat-up, but it's there to protect the bike, so I'm not bothered about that. The bike itself looks fine. There's a moment's panic as I try to locate the handlebars, until I realise that they're bubble-wrapped around the tank.

First order of business is to lighten the load. The front wheel is secured at the side of the frame near the top. One diagonal member needs unbolted, then two ties cut and the wheel can be taken out.

Next problem: getting the bike from vertical to horizontal. I consider rigging a rope from the rafters of my garage to try and lower it down, but then in a fit of manliness, rock the whole frame forward to feel the weight. It doesn't feel like 150kg, so I tip it a bit further towards me. Still feels OK. With a cry of Hadouken! I just let it tip, and lower it down. It's surprisingly manageable; no crunching of spine.

OK, we're down! Then in with the socket and spanners to take the frame apart. It's all common sense, just unbolt and move on. As I unbolt the back, I discover that the rear rack, mudguard and seat are all held on with a common bolt, which is handy to know.

At this point, I realise that I should be charging the battery. It comes dry in a box-of-bits in the box-of-bike, along with a sealed can of acid. You're supposed to use a little tube to get the acid into each cell, but I can't get it to stay on the stubby nozzle, so what the hey; I just squirt it into each cell, and mop up the spills. Won't be the first time.

With the battery on to charge, it's back to the bike. In short order the top and sides are removed, leaving the bike sitting in a solid bottom tray. I've been wondering how and when to get the front wheel on, but it's clearly not going to be possible until the bike is completely free of the frame.

At this point, I put the (newly discovered) handlebars on. It's pretty idiot-proof, using two clamps and 4 Allen bolts. Note to self: loctite the heck out of them later. I also loosely attach the front brake, and the throttle and power/lights assembly at this point. The brake is secure enough, but the throttle/power assembly only has two small bolts holding it on, and doesn't seem secure. We'll come back to that.

Then back to removal from the frame. The front axle is bolted through the frame, so that needs to come out, using a rubber mallet and a soft drift (ok, a long screwdriver, tapped gently). That's the bike now completely unsecured from the frame, but how to get it out? The rear wheel is sitting in a trough, and it's not for rolling - I later discover that it's got the front mudguard wedged onto the bottom of the rear wheel.

The answer is pleasantly simple. I can just lift the rear end up and out of the frame, twist it and put it down beside it. Then around to the front and lift the front forks out, move them to the side, lower and... the bike is free of the frame. Huzzah! Today, I am a man. A bike-lifting man.

A bit of tidying and re-inventorying follows. I can find homes for nearly all the clamps and bolts, barring 2 bolts and 4 chrome blanking plugs.

Next, the front wheel. At this point, the bike is sitting on its rear wheel and front forks. It stands up by itself, but precariously. I have a good go at getting it up onto its centre stand, but it's too heavy to haul all the way up from this low down.

A bit of head-scratching follows. I'm on my own at this point, so how to get the bike up?

The solution is to sling a rope over the rafters and around the centre of the handlebars, then carefully car-jack it up at the bottom of its main frame, standing and tightening the rope from time to time. I have to keep the bike balanced all the time, and it falls off once; the rope catches it and stops it crashing down.

On the second attempt, it falls again, but the rope is holding the front higher this time. A manly heave, and it's up on the centre stand. No inanimate lump of metal is going to outwit me!

Then it's just a matter of getting the front wheel on. The only tricky part is getting the brake pads far enough apart to fit the disk in. There's a spreader fitted to keep them apart in transit, but as soon as it's removed, they ease closed. I know I shouldn't, but I go in with a screwdriver and carefully pry them open, wiggle the disk in a bit, pry some more, wiggle, pry... and we're in.

Then the speedo cable attaches to one side of the wheel (needs a bit of wiggling), and a short brass tube to the other (ah, that's what it was for), and we're ready to offer up to the forks. I take the opportunity to add some more grease to the axle first, lift the wheel, and the axle goes through with some gentle rubber hammer persuasion. Then comes out again, as I notice that I've got the offside fork reversed; the mounts for the mudguard need to be on the inside.

That sorted, we're pretty much there. All the major bits are on, so now it's battery in. Handily, the red wire is dangling out from behind the right panel below the seat, so it doesn't take any guessing. It might be possible to get it in without removing the seat, but I want to have a look anyway, so I take it off - remember, the rear mounts are the common bolts with the bumper and chrome rack. Unbolted, it just pops back and out.

The battery drops in easily, and is held in place with a rubber cable-thing. Ah, the posts need the final two bolts in the box. Just those chrome blank plugs and some cable-ties left over. There's a vaguely triangular shaped metal plate in the battery box that I'm convinced is supposed to go outside the battery, but I can't quite get it to fit under the side panel, so it's left off for now.

OK, everything in place? Ah, mirrors. Loctite 'em. Tighten the handlebars properly; loads of loctite. Put the front brake and throttle/main power unit on tightly. It feels like the throttle/power unit isn't going to secure with just two bolts, but it tightens up eventually. And loctite, loctite, loctite.

Right, key in, twist: we have power. POWAH! Let's go for it!

Check the fuel tap; it's at off. Ah hah - while I'm there, I notice that the outlet at the top of the fuel tap isn't connected to the carb. There's an obvious dangling fuel pipe coming from the carb, curiously with a pointy end and no end clamp. Take note of this. Never mind, push it on to the fuel tap and let's get on with it.

So, a bit of fuel in the tank... wait for leaks... wait... more fuel... wait... OK, that's about 3 litres. Fuel tap to on. Nothing appears in the sight. OK, flip it up to reserve, and the sight fills up nicely.

We've got power, we've got fuel, so we should be good to go, right? Let's gooooooooo!

The starter turns the engine like a good-un. It doesn't fire after a few seconds though, so I stop and check the choke lever under the seat. It's down, which I think from my Honda CG CBT (and later confirm) means it's off. I push it up to full on and try again. Nothing.

What's up? Check the master rotary cut-off. It's in the centre position, which should be power-on. CRANK! THROTTLE! CRANK! THROTTLE! Oh, what's that spilling on the garage floor? Uh-oh. Fuel tap off, sharpish!

There's fuel dripping out of the bottom of the bike. Oh dear. Oh dear.

A bit of mopping up, then I trace it right back up to just under the carb. Head scratching. Tap to on, crank... it's coming out of... that pipe there. That dangling fuel pipe coming out of the carb, with a square end and a clamp. Hmm.

At this point, I realise that I've connected the carb breather to the fuel tap, and left the fuel line dangling. And yes, when you do that, fuel goes in the breather and out the fuel line.

D'oh.

One switch-around later, some more mopping, and let's crank. Grararar-rumble-rumble-rararar-rumble-rumble... off the starter and we're... we're... stalling. Crank, gentle throttle roll, grarararumble-rumble-rumble and we're running.

The engine heats quickly and comes off the choke within a minute or so, then starts sweetly after that. One thing that all owners of these bikes seem to say is that they start sweetly, and I can definitely believe it. Plumbed up properly, it feels very willing.

And that's us pretty much done. A dash more brake fluid to top it up (although it wasn't critical), a little tightening on the rear brake and I'm almost out of things to fiddle with. Some drag-runs up and down the garage confirm that the engine, clutch, 1st gear and brakes all work, for low energy values of work.

For £550 and a box of bits, I don't think we can say fairer than that.

A quick slather with ACF-50 and it's time for bed. Well, time to post this, then bed.

Bike in a box? Bring it on.

2009-03-15T10:05:00.000Z

So it's come to this: a mid life crisis.

For no good reason at all, I've decided to get myself a motorcycle, and in a fit of man-logic, the bike to go for is the one most likely to spend the least time actually out on the road, where cagers lie in ambuscade.

The only choice therefore is the most basic bike that I could find, the Huonaio HN125-8, aka the Haotian Vixen. And as a special Crisis bonus, it comes in a box. Yes, Some Assembly Required.

This blog will document my experiences with this bike, from research, through ordering, delivery, assembly, registration and - Invisible Sky Giant willing - riding.